Adventure time and Fallout crossover- Adventure in the wastes
by Mein Kapatin
Summary: A story about Dave- A student that has the worst day of his life.. the end of the world bad... But death can bring new life in more ways than one.. Dave has no idea what the Cosmic Owl has in store for him... Sorry about waffling- I like waffles and if you like it you can enjoy my waffles... *Face palms*
1. Chapter 1

Adventure in the Wastes

Firstly, this is my First one... So review and give me points for improvement!

Secondly, I do not own either the Fallout Franchise or the Adventure Time franchise- they are owned by Bethesda game studios and Cartoon Network Respectively.

Dave was a medical student, studying his second year at university. His father, Robert Hingston was a soldier, not just any soldier, a sergeant in the Special Aire Survace, the SAS (a consequence of being slightly nationalist and being too stubborn to study hard in school, sure he could 'Wing it').

Dave was a 5" 10" British male at the age of 19 with short brown hair and while not particularly thin, was not fat either, a sort of mixture of having muscle and fat and he studied medicine and the treatment of wounds, planing on becoming something great when he got out. He was not particularly different from his farther but Dave had an advantage, his father knew to encourage him in all the right ways, pushing him on to a path of a solid education. Robert knew he would regret it later should he mess up like himself.

So of course they had a good relationship going between them but at times it felt almost, fake, like Robert knew things that Dave wasn't to know but he would likely be affected. Robert cared but he could not say.

So on the evening of year 2077, Robert received the call he hoped he would never have to get- he was to travel out to north America (where Dave was studying) and would act as an escort to help fill the vaults, the bombs where coming.

Dave got up like any other day and prepared to study after having a cup of tea with honey and semi-skimmed milk, a habit brought on by his father when he heard sirens in the distance. At first they where distant, he thought he was imagining it but then they got louder, and louder... He knew what would happen now.

At this point Dave was lucky enough to be escorted out of his dorm by the staff of the university and was directed to a vault, the nearest one being about 2 miles away, he knew have ot run, he knew that the sirens only give a 10 minute head start and he knew that the traffic would be worse than ever before. So he ran.

8 minutes later he arrives at the vault gate, waiting to be let in, hoping to be let in but as he cued up, he was stopped and taken aside, away from the cue. He was pleasantly surprised at what he saw- his father in full SAS uniform had pulled him aside to give him a better chance.

His father gave him a spare uniform, complete with gas mask, back pack and a fully loaded HK G53, his father's weapon of choice with a Remington 870 MCS by his side, a favourite of Dave's from video games but he never appreciated just how heavy it all was, his bag filled with rations and water and a small tent- a standard bag with standard equipment.

Dave hurried on all of his gear and with only approximately a minute before the bombs would fall, he was ready- anxious from the wait, he father moved on just before he could get finished.. He had a plan and the men under him agreed it was a good plan worth doing.

Dave was to be escorted past the gate and into the vault, disguised as a soldier- the plan being to get him in, to get him safe.

About 20 second before they could hear the planes overhead, carrying their mutagenic horrors, Dave was in the cave of the vault, wandering past the guards- he had been told that if just walks with confidence, they won't suspect you.

" _Wow, I never thought this day would come, what about Dad? What about Mum? Everyone I have come to know will be gone and I will have to live with that... if I don't get stopped that is."_

Dave managed to get into the vault and just before the door was about ot be shut, he stepped in, saving his skin from the bombs- he was safe. Until a vault security officer came up to him and questioned him.

"What do you think you are doing in HERE soldier? Did you think would were allowed to just go AWOL?!"

"No, I am not going AWOL"

Just as the officer began to suspect a terrorist attack or simply a fake, he took off his helmet and gas mask to show his young (younger than he would like) face and with that the officer stepped back, confused for a brief moment at what he was seeing, almost feeling like this was a bad dream and for a moment, they were both encapsulated in a trance of confusion and conflict between their consciences and their will to survive but then the bombs hit.

As the atomic fire spread throughout the caves, both people where glad to have closed the vault. Snapping them each out of their collective trances and bringing forth more questions (not that he could do anything about them now).

"Who are you and what are you doing in my vault?"

"I am Dave Hingston, son of Robert Hingston, the man that... that just d-d-died to protect.. me". Dave's voice was reduced to almost a whisper by the end and just from this, the guard decided to take pity on him, knowing that not only did he just loose all of his family but he also just lost his life (in a metaphorical sense, his 'life' outside of the vault).

Having finished with that, Dave refused to show any weakness, much like his father, he stood up and met the officer's eye level and spoke in a suddenly commanding tone "So, now that I am in you vault, I want to be a part of it- I have many point going for me". Dave began to list out all of his strengths while limiting what the guard could see for his weaknesses, trying to present himself, he made a prominent point of his semi-formed medical training, to say he was practically a doctor (without any experience) to try and sell himself further. A trick he had learned from his mother to help with job interviews.

The officer's mind was already made up, he would then escort the 19 year old down the corridors and into the vault atrium.

Both people where surprised to find that the vault atrium was empty, no one could be seen, the vault was vault 277, a vault that was very different from the other vaults.

Vault 277 was to be used to seed the long-term future. Instead of dorms and showers, it had a singular large chamber with many pods, encircling a pillar that resembled a large computer. The officer, not knowing any more than Dave was equally shocked at what he saw, as he looked down, he could see that the pods had people inside them with cables and pipes hanging out of their flesh. The guard almost puked and Dave wasn't far behind at what they saw.

 _"THIS is what they thought of?"_ The officer thought this was a very bad moment for him until they both realised that the people inside where still moving, still alive. Both armoured figures where still unsure if they should be relieved or more disgusted at this sight.

There where about 7 pods left open and the two decided to try their luck with the pods, there where no beds, no cafeteria, nothing else and so, they tried their luck with the pods, stripping off the armour and stepping in.

Dave noted the smell and temperature most specifically, it was cold, the metal was on the brink of frosting over and the cushions, despite looking comfortable from afar, where no softer than that hard vault floors.

The smell was similar to that of a meat processing factory,making both people feel queasy and generally uneasy but they proceeded anyway. Stepping in and preparing for the device to 'work it's magic' as Dave thought, trying to make light of the situation and failing to make anything better, in fact, making himself feel even worse.

As the pod closed, down on him, he could feel small drills piercing his flesh at specific, symmetrical points all over his body, he tried to stay with it and squirmed slightly but after a few minutes, it finally stopped. Despite feeling like a lifetime, he was now exhausted and as many pipes and wires connected to his many small wounds, he proceeded to loose himself, to loose his conscious self. At his last moments, he could feel a mind blasting headache and the air temperature drop massively and suddenly.

 **So that was my first chapter of the first fan fiction I have ever written, please write comments and reviews of how I should improve and continue with the story. Thanks for reading so far.**


	2. Chapter 2: Finally getting somewhere

Adventure in the Wastes- Chapter 2

Again, I do not own either Fallout or Adventure time, they are owned by Bethesda Game studios and Cartoon network respectively.

Dave felt strange- as with any occasion in which you loose consciousness, you feel strange but he felt, stranger than before or more specifically, he couldn't feel at all- his senses where inactive as he thought, having only memories and thought processes to him, he tried desperately to remember what happened to bring him to this occasion.

Eventually after what felt like an eternity he heard a voice, a broad american accent spoke as if from inside his head with a tone that commanded control. "Hello and good Mourning/Afternoon/evening to you and welcome to Vault 277- Here at Vault-tech we specialise in the protection of life and here we are proud to announce that you have been admitted into one of many unique vaults and in this vault, you will be given the extremely luck experience of a new technology designed for the long-term storage of human life and here at Vault-tech we pride ourselves on this, our greatest technology for the preservation of people, a mixture of VR simulation and Cryonics to give you a significantly extended lifespan as you wait with us here in the safety of the Vault."

Dave thought this strange- " _How come this was never advertised? Do the other vaults have the same features? In which case how come the adverts often stated an active life in the vault?"_

Dave suffered another headache and was blinded by a light- all his sense had returned to him all at once, suddenly he could see, breathe, feel his arms, his legs, his skin everything.

As Dave recovered from the flood of neurological information, he promptly forgot about the vault, the bombs, even going to the university where he studied- he felt like a 16 year old boy at the start of his Summer break- he felt free.

He looked around to see a golden haze over a small town, he could see people wandering around, minding their own business and enjoying the pleasant sun that beamed down on them. He felt strangely out of place though, as a British boy in America, he felt as though this was wrong, inaccurate or just outright false but he tried not to fight it for long, he was happy here. He could live here.

What happened to Dave could be described as a unique kind of miracle- his SAS gear was taken and moved to a safe location where they would be stored for long-term and kept safe by Mr handy robots and they continued to maintain the facility and themselves for as long as they could.

Dave specifically was hooked up to a VR simulator that also Cryonically froze him, reducing his rate of cell respiration and effectively extending his life and the many cables and tubes that now sprung out from his cold body where all responsible for maintaining his physical health and metal well-being as he remained semi-conscious during this ordeal- in a dream state that was linked to all others in the pods.

As the years passed by Dave became more and more suspicious of his surroundings, he tried to remember his previous life but only remembered that he had forgotten something... Soon years felt like minutes and to his rate of respiration and physiological function, it was a matter of years turn to minutes.

Dave suspected something was wrong, he was sceptical at things like that, much like his... father! He mentally snapped his fingers in a eureka moment as he realised that his father was not present- he began to spot flaws in the simulation- of course others simply ignored him, believing he was being childish (after all he did appear to be a 16 year old boy trying to kill the time).

As the simulation felt like it had gone on for about a year now- the now 17 year old boy was more suspicious than ever, he tried to remember, he had been for years but now he could remember the voice at the start of the simulation- it spoke of cryonics- the science of cryogenically freezing something or someone to preserve them. He noticed this might actually be real as he theorised that some of the cryonic coolers must have malfunctioned because suddenly random people where functioning faster and slower than before- some people outright froze and stopped- signals from their brains having ceased- they had died.

Dave became extremely concerned with his well-being after this, he sought a way out, an escape route but found nothing...

Until he noticed that there was a young man of about 20 years old always stood in the middle of the cul-de-sac, he never noticed him before, like his brain simply refused to acknowledge him as being relevant- he approached him and the man in the middle was shocked to see someone notice him, surprised. He looked around nervously but many thought and memories had returned to Dave in this time, he remembered how to psychologically asses someone through a conversation and body language- he could read some people like a book.

When he reached the young man Dave simply said "Al-right Boss?"

To this the young man simply responded "W-w-who...m-me?" Stammering with his speech but Dave refused to think this was a genuine illness of his, he was nervous- afraid and why would a 20 year old man be afraid of a 17 year old boy asking "al right boss?"

"You heard me... Boss..."

Dave struck a nerve that caused the young looking man to have a slight breakdown- He had not talked to anyone in a 'year' and this sudden confrontation was not only unexpected but he was unwell- psychologically speaking.

"I-I-I Don't kn-know what you are t-t-talking about"

More stammering, if he could just get him to trip up in some way there would be no problem getting him to open up-to give Dave an answer he liked.

"You know damn right you do- now speak or things will get ugly really fast- you don't want to be uncovered and i have evidence to break your cover- explain how I get out... NOW"

"Okay damn it- you obviously know about the simulation- if you want out then you had better know this- you may already know that time has been flowing oddly here- it has flowed consistently and, well, you may not like what you see out there".

The stammering stopped and he spoke with command and confidence- he knew he wasn't lying- "I don't care- how do I get out of this pile of shit?"

"I can disengage the simulation but all participants will be removed as a result and we are supposed to keep the simulation going for about 1500 years, we did warn you of this being a long-term stay. But if you want out after just 1000, I can't stop you."

"okay then but you still haven't told me HOW to get out"

"They key is me, I will open it up, and shut it down again immediately after you get up- this may keep the others in the simulation for the extra time period but it may reset and we could be either for another 1500 years. Are you sure you can get up and just leave like that?"

"I'm positive"

And with these words, the Overseer vanished from the simulation as did all the other characters before the world around him began to de materialise- he was falling away and eventually, he awoke.

Dave was overwhelmed by the stimuli of the vault environment- he struggled to move, he had not moved in a millennium- his hair had grown long but he could shave later- his skin was still just as supple but all 1000 years onf the memories can back to him all at once- flooding his mind with a slow-mo view of nothing- crowding his head and giving him a tremendous migraine.

Dave struggled to crawl out of the pod but was suspended by his cables, still holding him down. His weak arms pulled a large pipe that went down his trachea and oesophagus, feeding him air and food and as he pulled it out- he could finally breathe normally (relatively speaking) but was still suspended by his back cables, now slowly peeling off, he felt his many stab wounds from the initiation all retract at once, dropping him to the cold, dusty floor.

He lay there for a few minutes, resting his eyes and recovering his thoughts but before long, minutes turned to hours.

Dave woke up as if awakening from a bad dream- gasping for air and feeling the driest neck he ever had was agony- he remembered the intro announcer saying his stuff was moved to a recollection area where it too would be preserved. He dragged himself to the nearest signs to point out where he should go. He noticed all the other pods open and close behind him as he stumbled away, now on his feet but barely.

As he found his cache of SAS gear- he proceeded to open up the tightly packed bag to retrieve the canteen inside- he downed it, feeling his stomach stretch and move as the liquid contents filled him. After another nap, Dave felt refreshed and ready to go, having recovered a large amount of his strength. He proceeded to put on the SAS gear, gas mask and all- there was no telling if the air was still toxic and rich in carcinogens and he did not need lung cancer to start up.

Dave noticed how his body had changed since going into the pod- his hair had grown massively since and he decided to have an attempt at shaving- he took the bayonet from his HK G53 and 870MCS to find them heavier than he remembered- he proceeded to the vault door and entered a code that was scarred on onto the wall next to the door- he assumed that it was a security officer that had to loose out on his pod, he felt sorry for him.

Dave then remembered his father- he decided he would bring justice and good to the wastes in the name of his father and after entering the code, he checked his gear and found that while the water was good- the food rations did not fare so well and had deteriorated into a mushy goo by various colours of mould. He knew that as he stepped through the vault main door, he would have to scavenge for his dinner- as the klaxon making a loud beeping nose stopped, the vault door was about to open- it let out a deafening screech before rolling to the right.

It was at this point that he noticed his wrist watch given to him by his father on his 18th birthday was missing and replaced by a wrist mounted computer labelled 'pip-boy 3000 model A'. While Dave was very annoyed at his missing watch he was also excited to have a new computer to work with- he also remembered a few commercials that depicted some of it's many functions and noticed it had not only taken all of the stock in his backpack but had also a few extra vault-tech grade medical supplies and drugs such as med-x, rad-away, about 7 stimpacks and some other drugs such as mentats, cat eye, psycho etc... although not is such high supply- confused as to where the extra stock came from he selected one for the stimpacks and it materialised in the palm of his gauntlet- he pressed another button and it de-materialised into the pip-boy. excited by this, he proceeded to try and de materialise his 870MCS to save his back from giving way and found it to completely de materialise. Dave was not so upset about the wrist watch now.

As Dave was bout to step out of the vault door, he decided to take a photograph of the code on the wall just in case- and with the surprisingly his res picture, he stepped out into the small tunnel with gas mask on and G53 ready to fire at the first sign of danger he left the vault- the door screaming shut behind him- presumably a safety measure to ensure security in the vault.

Outside of the cave, Dave saw that the entire horizon was strewn with nothing but desert- empty.

Dave began his trek out as he knew, he would need food and shelter and while there were ruins dotted about the landscape, Dave knew his father died very close to here- a lone tear dripped from his eye but he decided there is not point in crying over something that happened 1000 years ago... Still surprised about where he was and how the geology had changed so much.

" _To think I used to live here, to work here and sleep here but now I can barely notice any of it"_

After a few hours of hiking through the desert he decided he should travel north in an attempt to escape the killer heat and while his pip-boy displayed a standard level of background radiation- he was not going to take any chances.

Eventually he found grasslands with rolling hills and a wide array of fauna and some animals that had somehow escaped the nuclear horrors of the war. Surprised at how not only did the animals not appear harmed but also not particularly afraid of him- strange...

Dave then decided to take his pip-boy out and search for food in nearby vaults- the pip-boy glowed and showed off 3 vaults within a 5 mile radius- Dave took this opportunity to move now while the sun was up.

After about an hour Dave checked the time on the pip-boy and was surprised to see it was almost 3pm- " _I must've been lucky to get out just as the sun rises- I have had half the day to do this much, a load of nothing but I have covered ground and now I am noting a desert. At least I have that"._

Having noticed that the small mammal he had encountered appeared fine with eating the small shrubs and grass, he thought it would be a good time to take of the hot and sweaty gas mask but was stopped at the last moment by a noise from behind- he ducked quickly, dropping his backpack and getting his G53 ready for action.

Looking down the 4X ACOG scope he had attached and the bi-pod, he could see a couple of figures walking in the distance- one appeared to be a young boy and the other, a dog but it was too far to tell reliably using this scope. He reached into his bag and pulled out a target finder- a key piece of kit for a sniper but he liked to have one for the sake of being ready for anything.

Through the 40X ballistic optical scope he could see many fine details he would have missed- The boy was wearing a green backpack, had a strange white-bear-hat-thing and blue shirt and shorts. The dog, was blonde, like a golden retriever but had the build of a dog he had never seen before- the face of a bull dog and the body of a slightly longer, less chubby dog with surprisingly long legs.

Dave chose to observe them, the boy was talking to the dog so Dave drew the conclusion that the boy was lonely or alone- neither of them looked particularly mutated and so he assumed there would be a village nearby. Taking his backpack,he decided to do a little experiment where he would de-materialise most of his bag to reduce weight and then try to de materialise the whole bag itself but was stopped after the pip-boy simply read out the words "MEMORY FULL". The backpack would stay on his back but he had far less to carry now.

Proceeding to follow them he could not quite hear them but could see that the boy had a band of grass around his right wrist, a little confused, he followed on regardless and eventually found that the duo had arrived at a cave after about 2 hours. Taking a mental note that they would enter the cave, he took out his G53 and did some final checks before confronting the boy.

Noticing a small pinkish wooden house in the cave, he was confused further, it had lights and was painted nicely- this world confused him significantly. With that thought he was grabbed from behind and picked up before being thrown over to the boy and dog out of sheer shock he passed out mid-flight and didn't acknowledge his landing.

Between brief lapses of consciousness before slipping back away he could pick up a few things, firstly that there where 3 voices- 2 men and a girl, all sounding slightly immature or at least late teens.

After finally regaining consciousness he could only draw a few conclusions:

1- The the oldest sounding man had left and the dog was allowed to sit on furniture.

2- The Boy and dog there where the same boy and dog he followed.

3- He was no inside the house and was tied to a chair with his bag and gun on the floor between him and the group.

4- There was a third character now, a 19 year old girl that had a very greyish skin tone and wore mostly back clothes with a pair of knee-length red boots and a very long head of black hair.

5- He now noticed that the group was noticing him noticing them.

6-He began to panic because the 19 year old girl was floating towards him before the other two, the boy and the dog (who was now standing on two legs) where holding her back.

7- Dave realised he may be hallucinating and then his hearing came back, only just noticing the lack of a ringing in his ears.

 _"Did I just die and go to hell or something because this makes literally no sense"_

"Excuse me, Who are you two?" Dave said, hoping to get their attention, also noting that they never took his helmet and gas mask off.

The Dog was the first to speak "Excuse me, are you missing out on me on purpose? I bet he's a cat person anyway". This left Dave even more confused than before. "Did that dog just talk?" He said, voicing his mind as he obviously wasn't going anywhere without them letting him go... " _Unless... I can use the pip-boy materialiser glove to give myself my bayonet to cut the roe and escape!"_ and Dave's escape plan was already about to go into motion when he noticed that the people already untied him.

"What if he is an assassin, here to kill you Finn?"

At this point, Dave realised they where just as confused and scared as he was. "Well I am not an assassin, I am... er... a.. wonderer! That's it, I am a wanderer and I was wondering... if.. you could explain where I could scavenge some food... I have not eaten..in a very VERY long time..."

"There you go!" The young boy said, "Now he can show us his adventuring skills!

When Dave said this, he was offered by the girl to have some apples or strawberries from the fridge. To which Dave replied with a definitive yes.

Just as the plate came to him, he took off his helmet and gas mask to reveal his face to the group who initially stood there in awe with their mouths practically hitting the floor. Dropping the food on the floor, Dave was not hungry enough to dive for the food just yet.

"What?" Dave said, with no idea what would happen to him in the coming days...

 **OKAY! The foreshadowing is horrible I know, but if you like it then please review my storey so far and feel free to make points on what should happen further on down the line. Thanks for reading it so far!**


	3. Chapter 3: More stuff happens

Adventure in the wastes chapter 3

"Okay then... what is so weird and why have I not had the chance to enjoy some delicious, smooth, sweet fruit? " Dave spoke with confusion in his voice and with an equally confused face.

"I just never saw another human before" Finn muttered, barely audible and with that the three man gang grouped together into a huddle, almost as if this was a planned response to what they had just seen, as though it was a regular occurrence. _"Nah, that is just silly, if they had a coordinated response to me, then they wouldn't have been so shocked when they saw my face"_ Dave had queried in his head but it only confused him further too. He stopped thinking about it and then the group turned around and the bi-pedal dog proceeded to stretch it's arms around Dave in a likeness to a boa constrictor but with not so much constricting but just restricting.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! WHY IS THE DOG STRETCHING! HOW IS THE DOG STRETCHING?" Dave exclaimed before being promptly stopped from continuing his rant of insanity. "Where did you come from? where did you get that? Why have you come here now and not before?" the young adult female said, pointing to the G53, now lying on the floor.

Dave had to speak calmly, difficult when a magical blonde dog resembling a bull dog constricted your breathing and Dave seemed to be the only one present with a British accent- not like Dave was not used to the accent situation but they seemed to react to the accent strangely, like it was unnatural or they just never heard of accents before.

"I am going to answer all of your questions juST AS SOON AS YOU STOP CONSTRICTING ME; I CAN't BREATHE". With that, Jake the dog looked to Finn for permission and released him. Dave was dropped on the floor gasping for air and a moment later he spoke again- "Now, what was your first question?".

"I asked where did you come from- where have you been all this time?" Said Marceline.

"I came from a vault... a... uh.. giant safe for humans that preserved me from the great war that happened... it must've been 1000 years or so." Marceline interrupted him.

"997 years ago... I was there."

"So you found a vault too? Then why did you ask me about my" Dave was cut off by Marceline, "No, I did not find a vault but I did survive the blast, my mother was taken by the bombs. The great mushroom war took many lives but not all of them- I was one of the survivors".

"Well if you didn't find a vault then how are you still alive then? Why are you floating? HOW are you floating?" Dave became more perplexed with each second, noticing that the young woman had been floating about 5 inches off of the ground, just hovering in the air.

"Vampire powers." said Marceline in a manner that suggested to Dave that she was either lying or she understood just as much as he did- nothing at all.

"Riiigghht" Dave said, not fully believing her but going with it for now, being the sceptic he was.

After a moment of awkward silence, Jake was next to speak. "So, like there are more humans in the vault?"

Dave responded with mixed feelings. "Well.. physically... yes but I am not sure they are mentally stable... or even still exist. You see in the vault, there was a simulation of sorts that kept us all busy- there must have been at least thirty or forty of us in that one simulation... But I am not sure they are all alive... or if any of them are still alive..."

Confused by his response, the trio had enough information to satisfy themselves, except Marceline- she had found him aiming a weapon at her friends with possible intent to kill them... His gun was not particularly familiar to her but she didn't like it... this kind of technology is what destroyed her world before and while she trusted her friend Princess Bubblegum, she was not sure that a new wave of humans would be a good idea for Ooo... or the world.

Finn broke the silence that arose from Marceline's insecurity of Dave and Dave's equal insecurity- "Hey guys? Lets take this guy to P-bubbs and get him checked out."

Jake joined in. "Yeah, he's probably covered in some weird diseases."

Finn and Jake continued to joke as they marched away out of the house, leaving Dave and Marceline.

"So... How did you survive the war then? If it wasn't a vault then what happened?" Dave spoke, breaking the again present silence.

"I am half demon and the vampire queen I don't really have to worry about life expectancy."

"Very well then.." Dave, still sceptical of her explanation bent over to grab his rifle and on the way up spoke to Marceline without turning to see her face. "Well... either way, you can always talk to me, I have a strange feeling that we are not that different. We have age on our side... Give or take a few years- How old are you exactly?"

"1002 years old- I was seven when the bombs hit 997 years ago."

"So that means that I must be... uhh... I never was very good at maths... uhh... 1020 years old now..." _"Woah... I didn't see that coming- I am older than I thought- this has to be worse than that identity crisis I had when I was 17- man, scale of time really gets to me... DAMN IT SNAP OUT OF IT YOU SPONGE HEAD- stop thinking about all of that insignificance stuff and get back on the job"_

The brief conversation Dave had in his head left a void in the conversation between him and Marceline who eventually brought him back to reality. "Hello? Hello? Who do you think you ARE? You think that just because you have age we are the same? What kind of idiot do you take me for?" Marceline said, her words spoke to Dave in a literal way but her body language and response spoke volumes to Dave- "I am here- it's not a demand, just an offer."

With these words Dave stretched his gas mask over his face and put his helmet on as he stumbled towards the door, trying not to fall over or to turn back- a large part of the strategy involves not turning back.

Dave had used a little psychological trick he learned where he would make someone feel bad for letting him go and want him back- He made many 'friends' and had general success in manipulating people using this strategy- before the war, it had become second nature to him. this left Marceline in a state of confusion- _"Did he just try to brainwash me or something? I don't even know- Ugh- I need food- oh well... the 30 second rule exists in here right? Yeah, the food on the floor will do."_

Dave was unfortunate enough to miss his most recent opportunity to eat and left more food- _"I knew I should have just shot that underweight deer and settled for bone marrow- my gut feels like it is trying to digest itself... ugghh.. You've got this- just keep on going."_

As Dave stood outside, internally monologuing as he used to do in times of boredom or confusion but did not notice that Jake had turned into a kind of giant Emu with Finn sat on top. "Hey, guy! Come and get on" Finn had forgotten Dave's name again but it didn't bother Dave- he was happy to know that he would be all right sooner or later. The look on Finns face said they would be somewhere exciting and safe, a place of knowledge and wealth.

Jake grew impatient with Dave's seemingly lethargic style where he would seem as though to just zone out and stare into space. Jake went ahead and was about to just grab Dave before Dave just straight up collapsed mid step- Dave's system was at breaking point and he needed medical attention- Finn thought of a plan, a simple plan but it was the only plan that either of them had. _"I don't know what's wrong with him but P-Bubbs might know- Jake and I should just take him to the Candy Kingdom and have bubblegum take care of him- it's way closer to us than the hospital and the hospital is not well made for human interaction."_

Jake caught Dave falling in the corner of his eye and stretched to pick him up off of the floor. Jake said "Where too? We gotta help him!"

Finn already knew his whole plan "Take him to the Candy Kingdom- You know who can help".

 **First interrogation aside- Dave's collapse does have more meaning and while I personally feel like I want him to be a part vampire for the sheer sake of being able to fly (That shit is stupid cool) but I know that may ruin the whole thing. More parts coming soon and don't feel afraid to leave a review, I could use the feed back and instructions/ requests on where the storey should go would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for Reading.**


	4. Chapter 4: In a castle of cake

**Sorry about this one taking so long.. I wrote up the whole chapter and then it deleted itself :| either way, I have re-written it and although it may be slightly different from the original- I am trying to make it interesting but this being my first storey, it could be easier. Thanks very much for waiting.**

Dave felt a strangely familiar sensation, he felt like his senses were denied again; just like with the simulation he experienced when he entered the vault.

Dave tried to remember the past events that last happened since his last drop out of consciousness.

" _This again?.. Man this is getting annoying... I remember waking up in a chair- restricted in a chair... and there where people- and a dog... that dog that could talk... and stretch... uhuuhh... If I had a body right now I would be shivering... and there was a girl.. a young woman that defies all logic... trapped in adolescence... with 1000 years between her now and before... and me.. 1000 years... 1000 YEARS... SO LONG... DAMN IT!_.."

Dave mentally cursed himself for getting off track, for getting distracted...

" _And a boy... the last boy- we where going somewhere... but I haven't had any food in such a long time... so hungry... I was going with them and... and I passed out... I only hope they weren't planning anything bad... now they have their opportunity_..."

Dave was done with his mental recall and began to wonder his thoughts.

" _Where am I? What happened to the world to make it so different and... and broken? I remember... my body is not the same as my mind... I am mentally 18, physically 24... lasted for 1020 years... I didn't do that did I? No of course not... But I do need to get myself sorted before... before... I... I don't know.._."

Dave suddenly felt a wave of excitation all over his suddenly existent body, leaving him in a state of shock all of his senses had returned and a loud ear piercing noise shattered his dream-like state... A ringing 'Hoot' sound was left in his ears as he was forced back to reality.

Dave's ears were ringing... He did his reality checks to be sure he wasn't hallucinating.

" _Nope.. it's real..._ " Dave's ears were still ringing, telling him that the noise that woke him up was either a real owl that decided to hoot in his ears and bugger off as soon as it did or something else happened that he simply could not explain as of yet...

With this thought passing Dave looked around to see he was in a bed; a hospital bed with a drip attached to his right arm, removing the drip he tasted the solution inside so as to test it to find it was an incredibly sweet solution of sugar... " _That explains why my heart is beating faster than an angry hummingbird_ ". He then noticed the room, it was large for a room with only 1 bed and had a very high ceiling and the walls appeared to be made of a very stale kind of cake... " _A room or even a building made of cake? Can't say I would have thought that would be a good idea_ ". The room had no windows except for a skylight in the ceiling and while it shone rays of sunlight onto Dave's face, he allowed himself a brief moment of respite from his worries. The Dave was interrupted by a strange voice...

Dave snapped back to attention to see two man sized bananas with faces on them holding pears standing by the door. " _How long have they been there? How long have I been here?_ " The left banana spoke to the right banana "The human guy is up now... what do we do?"

It spoke with a sense of uncertainty and confusion but Dave thought he was the one that ought to be confused- Dave then noticed his body armour was still on him and while his gas mask and helmet had been removed, he could suddenly smell himself.. He didn't like it.

"Hey you two.. Banana... uhh.. banana guys... is there a bath tub around here or a shower or even a small lake.. anything would be good."

The banana guards looked at Dave with a lack of expression on their faces- they did not appear to have noses and it seemed that they couldn't smell him- partially relieved at this fact it them occurred to him that there may not be a single bath in the entire kingdom as if the security force does not have the ability to smell then what may happen about the populace? Ignoring the prospect of a bath he proceeded to get up, expecting that the sugar drip should keep him conscious for a few hours and feeling in no immediate danger, it was time to get to work.

Dave looked around for his gear to find that his G53 and Backpack where missing along with his helmet and gas mask, Dave felt unsafe breathing the air without it, almost naked despite the many bags, satchels and layers of kevlar that surrounded his torso.

"So... are you here to keep me or take me somewhere? Or are you two just going to stand around and hope I don't notice you?"

"We where hoping you wouldn't get up so we wouldn't have to-" Said the left banana before being elbowed in the gut by the right banana which then spoke for it. "We are to take you to Finn and Jake, please follow us to the main hall..." and with these words the banana guard proceeded to walk away out of the room, expecting Dave to follow.

Dave may feel unclean and naked but he knew he still have his shotgun stored in the pip-boy, still attacked to his arm, he read the date and his location relative to the vault he left.. " _It has been.. 4 days?! 4 Days since I passed out?! And during my period of inactivity I was transported.. about 200 miles?! How? I know the dog can stretch and I know I covered a good 30 miles on the first day but 200?! whoa... I suppose the time scale would explain my newly grown out facial hair... I thought I shaved before leaving the vault._."

Dave's heart rate didn't improve much with the information that he had been breathing potentially irradiated air for 4 days straight without any attention.

Dave was welcomed to a grand hall lined with identical banana guards all standing in a line- the hall itself had many columns of cake with layers of icing _"I hate icing on my birthday cake.._." and with a grand skylight that traversed the length of the hall, going on for about 50 meters in both directions.

Dave looked to his right to see Finn and Jake waiting for him. " _Hold on... they waited for 4 days?! What is with these people?_ "

"Hey dude! Your'e back!" Finn announced to Dave, Jake turning around to see him, well, he turned his head around and his body stayed put- much like an owl which made Dave uneasy both from the sheer creepiness of it and because it reminded him of the 'hoot' he heard earlier.

"Yeah man.. what took you so long?" Jake said to him, body still facing the other way.

"Well.. I haven't had any food for almost 1000 years and after being taken off of the life support, my body was running on reserve resources... on the bright side, I don't have to worry about dieting for a skinny bod and they had me on a kind of sugar drip although if it happened for too long, my Pancreas may pack in..." Dave said, adding a little joke in there but upon noticing that the dynamic duo did not seem to get it he learned not to bother making biology jokes to them. "Maybe fart jokes next time".

Dave broke then now awkward silence created by his attempt at humour. "So, to whom do I owe my thanks to for saving me from malnutri- uhh.. starvation? And who runs a castle made of cake with man-sized bananas guarding it?"

Finn smiled with glee- He had not told Princess Bubblegum of him yet but had given his loose gear to her for her to examine excepting the gas mask which he handed to Dave.

"Put this on... The princess doesn't know about you being a human yet but I gave her your stuff for examination if that's cool."

Dave put the Gas mask and Helmet on, immediately feeling safe again. He asked Finn about his personal hygiene but was dismissed. "Nah.. Jake and I are the only ones with any noses around here so you don't need to worry about smelling up the joint."

With this brief reassurance, Dave felt slightly happier to be around. He followed Finn and Jake up the lab where Princess Bubblegum was fiddling with Dave's G53.

" _I don't mind their curiosity at the pre-war artefacts but if that gun gets broken, they may have to worry about my 'secondary'_ ". Dave had reminded himself about his shotgun stored on his pip-boy's memory and had the idea that if he needed to break out, he could always unload a few shells and bolt.

A few minutes after walking down the long hall and climbing up a stairwell, Dave finally reached the lab. He communicated with Finn that he would rather have his weapon back or at least to know it is okay due to its sentimental value.

Finn and Jake were the first to step through the door into the royal lab and Dave closely followed.

Dave saw that the Princess, while interesting in her own right, being a consistent shade of pink all over with various different shades and segments that made her remarkably human in appearance and being remarkably humanoid in body structure only added to his curiosity, Dave decided he would rather examine her biology before having to do anything permanent. He the noticed that his weapon had been disassembled and was presented on the main table the the princess was sat at. At first he felt his heart jump out of his chest but then he acknowledged it was meant to do this and it could be re-assembled. The damage was not permanent.

"Oh, Hi Finn, Hi Jake! Who's your friend? Is this his stuff?" The Princess said.

Finn spoke for Dave, keeping the surprise for later. "Yeah, this is his stuff but you won't believe how he got it or when he got it or any of this..."

Bubblegum's interest was peaking, she had dropped all of her attention from examining the pre-war relic to the tall, fully armoured figure behind Finn and Jake, towering over the 16 year old.

Finn turned and whispered to Dave "Okay, now, take your helmet and gas mask off and start talking, try to ignore the many different things she may try to poke you with".

With this, Dave took the helmet and gas mask off revealing his face to Bubblegum who promptly froze with a look of disbelief on her face, her mouth wide open.

"Good mourning your highness."


	5. Chapter 5: The one where people talk

Finn was loving every second of Bubblegum's interaction with Dave as she scurried around looking for equipment to examine him with but Dave had other ideas.

 _"Wow... I really need to change my socks... they are soo sticky right now... I guess wearing the same pair for 4 days straight will do that to you... Why did I just think of that?.. Shouldn't I be more concerned about the humanoid gum golem grabbing and testing me while a magic dog and 16 year old boy watch and giggle away? Where did I go so wrong?"_

Bubblegum spoke up after reading Dave's dimensions and weights. "So.. How old are you and how did you get here?"

"Well... If you want to know... I am 1020 years old now..."

Bubblegum stopped doing her calculations and looked at Dave with a confused look on her face. "What?"

Dave decided his little joke could end now, he was struggling to keep a straight face. "Well... I am 1020 years away from my birthday, my biological age is about 24 years and my mental age varies between 8 and 26 although it should be just 20... I have a very immature sense of humour.."

"Right... well that doesn't really explain how you have been alive for so long... I mean 1020 years is beyond even Marceline's age... and she is half demon/vampire... I don't have a very large sample to examine human biology so I can't say that I know the average human life expectancy based on just Finn... I suppose you have a greater experience on human biology?"

"Of course.. you are lucky it was me to crawl out of that vault, I was half trained in human biology and medicine and if you need cadavers- the vault still has a few residents... they may not all be alive but they are well preserved... It would be okay with you if they came wouldn't it?"

 _"Used a leading question... time to see where the gum golem stands and how resistant she could be... if she is as I suspect her biology to be, a shotgun blast to the face won't kill her, or even cause any permanent damage- Escape plans will have to involve some form of distraction- I am sure if could unload a few shells into the walls or even demolish a few roof supports- Stale cake is brittle.. although impact resistant- use incendiary rounds instead and the whole building should come down- that could work and they would be too busy putting out fires to bother finding me for a couple of days... escape plan complete.."_

Dave mentally high-fived himself on having a successful escape plan set- hoping he would not need it but as he put it _"I would rather have a plan and not need it than need a plan and not have one."_

Bubblegum broke his internal monologue as silence fell over the two. "soo... what was that about vaults? You said there were other humans?"

"Yeah.. I am about to share information with you that has not be shared with anyone else in 1000 years! Excited?"

Bubblegum nodded violently, Dave noted more on her physiology, it was as though while she had no skeleton, she was more similar to a slug than a human but had the shape of a human... " _strange..."_

"Right... you see, right before the bombs fell, groups of people where taken away into large underground vaults, places to contain them and preserve human life and while my vault may have had some shady business going on, I am yet to check the other local vaults... This device on my wrist.. the pip-boy 3000 can show me their locations and conditions..."

Bubblegum had heard enough... she had been ruling ground that had many of her most loved species ready and just under her feet... she couldn't wait to get humans out of their holes... then she thought back to Dave and the mask he was wearing...

"Sorry.. what was your name? I never got it.."

"Dave... just call me Dave ma'am"

"Right, Dave, could you kindly explain what this tool on my desk is and explain the mask you wore on your way in is?"

At the reference to the mask Dave noticed that the air he was breathing didn't sting his lungs, maybe he had gotten used to it or the radiation was not that bad... "Well... the bombs that fell would have more than likely been bombs that relied on the principle of Nuclear fission- a very high energy reaction that I am sure you are aware of..."

Dave paused to see Bubblegum's expression of wonder- she evidently did not know about nuclear fission... She was a character of science but still had no idea about nuclear fission.

[Author's note]

-If you wish to avoid a brief education on tumours and medicine then please skip the next paragraph and the next 3 lines of conversation- I got carried away-

"Well I can explain atomic energy later- the point was that the bombs not only released massive amounts of energy, killing everything in the local area but they also showered the world around them, even far beyond the blast radius with radioactive material- this material can cause mutation in living organisms such as myself and while the majority of the chemicals can be defended against by my skin, if some of them got into my lungs via the air I breathe- I could suffer a condition known as cancer... I can go into more detail alter but for now, the gist is it was very effective at killing off humans... While you can physically remove tumours, the group of cells that cause cancers, it is not always safe and can be very hard if the tumour migrates to the brain or deep in the lung tissue."

"So this mask protects you from breathing in the carcinogens... clever but there are very few places in Ooo that can cause that kind of damage..."

"just being careful".

"Either way- the device on the table however... that is a Heckler and Koch G53 assault rifle and is one of my father's most beloved weapons in his unit for it's ability to dish out high precision damage at a long range..."

"A weapon... this is the kind of technology that took your people down and destroyed the world..."

"Not the weapon, more so the people that used them... don't blame the gun, blame the man that pulls the trigger... guns don't kill people, people kill people.."

"I see... so you where like a doctor?.. Before the bombs of course."

"A doctor in training.. I have a basic knowledge on the treatment of wounds and most diseases but don't expect me to bring someone back from the dead..."

Dave was warming up to Bubblegum.. she shared common interests with Dave and they generally got on well.. Bubblegum was ready to learn about human history and while Dave was only able to give general knowledge on the British monarchy and the migration of humans around the world from their introduction via evolution based on a program he saw on TV and his knowledge of cellular biology..

After about 2 hours of talking they both noticed that it was time to get some food in their stomachs, Dave ignoring his own apatite for food again suddenly felt the urge to consume food... he was near ravenous but tried to maintain a level of sophistication to his demeanour in the dining hall... After seeing Finn and Jake devour their dishes at an inhuman pace, Dave sought to just be content consuming as much as possible...

 _"Wow this food is sugary... I don't think I will be sleeping much tonight..."_

After the meal, it was decided that Dave would lead a team of Dave, Finn, Jake and Bubblegum to the vault Dave crawled out of 4 days ago and they would explore it and look for survivors, not only would this be an opportunity for Bubblegum to observe some original Human engineering but Finn could also get a chance at human friends and human families and Bubblegum was all for it.

Dave requested help with removing the body armour, wearing it for 4 days without taking it off had worn his strength down and now he figured he could trust the denizens of this place.

Under the thick layer of bags and pouches, there was a kevlar vest- Finn who was helping Dave out of his gear tried to put it on and felt it's weight..

"Woah man.. you have been carrying THIS around for 4 days?! Why would you do that it looks so flimsy.."

Dave was going to spare Finn the science behind it and described it as 'A vest that can take any punch, any impact, any sword blow, hammer blow and even any gun shot below 5.56mm.

The last bit meant nothing to Finn but the other stuff had him intrigued.. he liked the idea of super tough body armour and tried it on before huffing out- it was made for fully grown adults so it barely fit on Finn anyway.

After getting Dave's now 1000 year old shirt off Finn and Jake noticed the horrific damage caused by the drills and pipes Dave had been exposed to when he went into the vault.

"What?" Dave said, seeing the duo quiver a little at the many cuts and slices on Dave's back that Dave himself had not yet seen thanks to not being able to find a mirror... He looked across the room and saw his back..

"Ooh.. That's gonna leave a mark... This is what is freaking you two out?"

The two nodded with the same look frozen on their faces... they had never seen gore like this before despite being severed many heads and other organs before... just never human gore and never on such a level... the wholes were smooth around the skin and only went a small bit into the flesh but there was a lot of exposed tissue below and the sight frightened the two...

Dave covered his back with a fresh shirt from a wardrobe that was lucky enough to be his size... strangely though, the holes in his back bled a little into the fabric, never scabbing over..

Dave sent the two out to go to bed while he sleeps but Bubblegum was to be the next to hear of this a few minutes later... Finn's description brought a slight horror to bubblegum's features too be she was interested as to how he got them and why they where there.. A test for the next day.. after returning from the vault.

Dave lapsed out of consciousness and fell asleep in the most natural way since before the war, his stomach filled with sugary substances and his back finally free of weight although his pip-boy remained attacked to his arm.

 **Well then.. let's see how the next chapter plays out! I warn that I will have a lower upload rate after the next week until about a month has passed... Feel free to review and make contributions for furthering the storey- which directions should we go? I feel half inclined to have Dave wear the Ice King's crown of madness just for the sake of old world knowledge and magic because FUCK YOU THAT'S WHY.**

 **Thanks for reading- do you like the writing style or would a 1st person perspective be good for other parts? Any constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated.**


	6. Chapter 6: Momentum

Chapter 6- momentum

Dave lay there in the bed, rolling from side to side, mumbling to himself in his sleep in a way that would seem insane to anyone that couldn't tell what he had been through and what he was seeing...

 _Travelling... Moving backwards and forwards... Old friends and new friends... together but unsure anyone can be trusted..._

Dave was feeling both pleased and confused with a mixture of desperation, he had no idea what was happening.

 _Together... now apart... further than before... staying apart to stay together... to keep together..._

Dave couldn't make any sense of what he saw.. of what he felt, but was rudely awakened by a flash of light and a 'hooting' noise. Startled Dave awoke with a heavy sweat on, panting desperately as he struggled to get enough oxygen into his system.

 _That is the second time I have woken up and heard a hoot... I wonder if that is a regular occurrence here? Do they have owl infestations?_

Looking around the room Dave remembered the events of the past day, seeing the cake and icing walls and the oddly non-combusting fireplace, still burning as it fed the room with a warm glow while rain fell from outside. Dave thought he should get back to sleep when he heard movement down the corridor, just beyond the bedroom door, his curiosity continued to rise.

 _What on earth is that? I suppose it could just be a servant of sorts... Come to think of it I could really use a glass of water... I'm sure it wouldn't mind being asked.. it IS it's likely job after all..._

Sitting on the side of the bed he proceeds to crawl out, the light from the fireplace producing a light show in the dark, illuminating separate parts of the room with it's own uncertainty as to where would be lit next, the flicker regularly revealing the door.

Dave opens the door to find that the hallway was well lit for this time of night- peering over to his pip-boy Dave sees the time as being close to 5:20.

 _If the seasons are still the same the sunrise shouldn't be for at least an hour or more... It has to be a servant of some description.._

Looking around for the cause of the sound he heard further motion around the corner, following the source of the sound, still in his loosely fitting night gown, Dave saw a door close shut as he peered around the corner. Dave remembered this door being the door to the lab where he was introduced to princess Bubblegum.

 _Well... I guess she stays up late... or gets up early... Does she even sleep?.. I never saw any sign of a bedroom... No.. that's stupid in a massive palace I have barely begun to explore...I don't even know if her species requires sleep..._

Dave opened the door quietly, finding the door refusing to creak and give away his position to whomever may be present on the other side.

Looking in, Dave saw Bubblegum, still typing away in the now dimly lit room that was the lab. Dave looked to see an eerie glow of a computer monitor around the corner and found that he had followed a small peppermint servant of some description serving the ruler a cup of camomile tea.

"Your Camomile Tea, milady."

It had a very high pitched voice that, while it spoke with punctuation and control, still sounded like it was coming from an immature 30 year old man imitating a child like person.

"Thank you Peppermint Butler"

It was Bubblegum drinking the tea, still working.. Dave took the move to make conversation, how else was he supposed to get his glass of water? He barely even knew where the bog was.

 _Time to get talking... I can attempt to jump them first but I don't want to risk execution.. what is acceptable?.. I can try to just get their attention by a light cough.. Yeah.. let's settle on that.._

*Ahem

The two candied characters swung around to see Dave standing confidently in the doorway, sounding almost a little too confident considering he was stood in the doorway and if it wasn't for the light, Dave would feel much more exposed to say the least. Dave was about to open his mouth to make his request for a beverage and for additional explanations on why and how Bubblegum was still awake, the look on her face made her look fatigued-

 _Maybe she uses sunlight?... Like in photosynthesis?... Maybe she does sleep... Well.. I can always just ask her... She probably won't execute me for that.._

"Dave? What are you doing up at this time?" Requested Bubblegum.

"Well I was awoken by the sound of little footsteps outside of my room and wanted to get a glass of water... That is allowed isn't it?"

Dave thought it was better to not talk of his little nightmare, better to keep it all quiet. Dave never thought dreams where of any importance regarding fate, another thing he refused to believe in. Only that they where mere reflections of the subconscious and it's demands on the conscious.

"Well.. yes I suppose it would be rude of me not to allow you the freedom to obtain a beverage".

Bubblegum was trying to sound more official, while she did want to make a massively formal deal out of the situation, she did want to appear punctual and intelligent. She wanted to know everything he knew, just as he wanted from her.

"Actually, if you have tea, I would love a cup... If you are offering, then a couple of sugars and add semi-skimmed milk if you have it, any milk is still good..."

Bubblegum was pleased at his request for tea, she saw it as being more sophisticated than juice or water or even her own mixture of chocolate milk that she made to form the moat around her kingdom that Finn and Jake were happy to drink from at times or thirst or boredom. She still figured it would be a bad idea to tell them what was in the mixture since they drank so much...

"Absolutely, Peppermint Butler. Please could you get Dave his requested drink".

"Of course milady".

And with that, Peppermint Butler proceeded to walk away in preparation of Dave's drink. Leaving the two characters in the room, still dimly lit by the glow of the computer.

Dave broke the silence, figuring he would just solve a few personal mysteries and curiosities.

"So, what kind of animal from my period of time are most similar to? If you don't mind me saying of course."

"I am closest to Human, my nerve, bone and muscle structure may be largely made of gummy components but it is, in fact, all in the shape and function of a human's. Even though I am made of gum and even though my bones are flexible, they are all shaped and act like human tissue and organs."

"Oh, I had no idea... I knew you where obviously humanoid but I felt as though I had to restrain my urge to question something so... Simple and personal... Something I am almost certain Finn and Jake do not know about."

It was true, even Finn and Jake had no idea what she was other than gummy. Bubblegum was again, surprised and pleased to hear that Dave, her representative of the strengths of the old world was the person he was; smart, confident and the kind of person she could get along with happily on any day regardless of the situation but she still did not know _him_.. She only thought she did.

This was one of Dave's unique traits.. He could build a character that most people think would take years to build in a matter of minutes, with a little time to prepare himself he could build an entire character with entire life stories behind them. He often kept his friendship groups separate for this very reason... it was a bad habit of his because he would end up making several characters for several groups, acting differently with his parents as he did with one group of friends and again, different as with another group for friends and so on. He never thought hard about it, he just did whatever he thought would win over the person because, as Dave thought; _Some say keep your friends close and your enemies closer.. I say keep them all close and let them tear each other apart, you can clean up whatever is left over... it's much more convenient that way.._

Dave continued, "So, anyway, what exactly are you doing up at this time.. I can imagine you aren't busy with royal duties or anything of the sort but are more concerned with writing up research notes.. If you need any extra points to clarify, just ask me.. I am right here after all".

"Thank you Dave but I have already finalised the notes and I guess I got carried away with possible conclusions... Would you like to meet me for breakfast? We can chatter about what your data means.."

"And I can correct you.." Dave said, almost out of turn.. A second of awkward silence before Dave broke into a smile and laughed lightly, indicating he was just joking.. "I am hoping that this is acceptable in your culture... I would not want to offend anyone, especially you.."

Bubblegum was admittent that she did fall for the joke and did find it funny looking back over it.. She was pleased to see that Dave was becoming more laid back, more casual.

Dave and Bubblegum continued to talk as they went towards the dining hall but Bubblegum decided that since the sun was due to rise soon, they should enjoy the breakfast being bathed in the sunlight as it rose from the horizon. Dave agreed this would be a nice thing to start the day with, a nice change compared with every other waking hour he had prior to coming to the candy kingdom.

Sitting on a balcony, looking above the still silent city, Dave felt peaceful, like he could stop trying to impress people and start to feel loose again.. to feel free..

"So Dave, how is your tea?"

Snapping back to reality he turned his head to Bubblegum, realising he had been zoned out, staring into the abyss that was the city at this time with little eye movement and no sight of change in the following minutes.. Another of Dave's peculiarities... He would stare into space when he had time or was bored or, in this case, simply saw beauty in the whole image and wanted to enjoy every part of the moment in it's entirety, a thing he did because it was as close he knew he could get to taking a mental photo that saw the world as it was and not as he wanted it to be...

"Oh.. It is awesome... I haven't had a cuppa like this in.. in a very long time... Did I tell you about how long I have been out for?

"Yes you told me yesterday when you came for your equipment, you were from a vault from 1000 years ago... Are you okay Dave?" Bubblegum asked out of worry for her new friend's mental integrity...

"No.. I'm fine.. Don't worry I used to do this sort of stuff all the time before... If I get too relaxed or left alone for too long.. I tend to zone out and just observe... it's weird.. sometimes I get all philosophical and start getting all deep but then my biology and psychology remind me of what I am to the world".

"And what are you to the world Dave? What do you think you are to the world?"

"I don't know.. I know I am not important to nature.. I am expendable, disposable and not significant... I wish I was but I would always complain about other people that would say something and nothing else so I avoided it because the one thing worse than a hypocrite is a self-conscious hypocrite... My train of thought always brings me to the same conclusion... that there is no soul, no spirit or entity that guides me or anyone... just flukes in the universe that occasionally appear to be things we label to be.."

Bubblegum was confused but she roughly understood him... Knowing this was not a topic Dave enjoyed she tried to change the subject.. "So, aside from that... You still haven't told me how your cup of tea is..."

Dave laughed a little internally... He knew what she was doing to him and he was glad that she tried to make the difference, to cheer him up.. "It is smooth, sweet but not too sweet... it is perfect..."

A brief pause passed by, Dave wanted to share his thanks.. show his appreciation..

"Thank you Princess Bubblegum... I appreciate that you tried to make me feel better.. that you are tying to appeal to me... Trying to help me.. You show a kindness that is so rarely shown to anyone in the world before the bombs... You show a kindness that I appreciate and I don't know how I am going to repay you for any of this, but I can try to..."

Bubblegum was a little surprised to see his blatant thanks for her attempt, she knew he wanted to know more but was afraid of what he may see, what he may learn... He needed a true friend to stand by him as much as he will stand by her...

"You can call me Bonnibel... Or just Bonnie... That is.. If you want to.."

Dave was taken aback.. surprised... no one ever showed him this level of kindness and continued to show kindness after his mental venting.. "Thank you... Thank you so very much Bonnie..."

Bubblegum noticed that the sun was starting to rise... Before anymore conversation could go on, she decided that they should just enjoy the scene as much as she could, Dave was of the same mindset... Both of them sat on the balcony, gazing off into the distance as the sunlight danced off of the rooftops... Mesmerised by the world Dave had never seen before and the world Bubblegum had neglected to love in it's physical beauty...

After breakfast Dave was to have a full medical checkup, his teeth were a little soft but Bubblegum had a formula paste that was originally made for Finn as he never cleaned his own teeth but Dave was happy to feel a sense of cleanliness in his mouth... Looking over him, Dave was found to have gained some muscle mass, likely from having to carry a large rucksack over 30 miles of hills and valleys and the constant shivering his body was doing during cryosleep, the muscles were continually worked on and over the time, he had gained some considerable muscle mass, after a few good nights rest, Dave's muscle structure was largely reconstructed and stable.

The gashes on Dave's back were still just as bad as the night before... Bubblegum was partly disgusted but partly intrigued, putting a small pin onto one of the smaller holes and running a light electric current caused Dave's left leg to involuntarily curl back, almost kicking himself in the butt. Bubblegum concluded that the smaller holes were directly linked to Dave's nervous system and allowed direct linking from and too mechanical sources from Dave.

While both Bubblegum and Dave decided this was very interesting, it may be better to leave it for later, Finn and Jake were due to show up any minute for the expedition to vault 277. Putting all of the SAS gear on, Dave was ready to go. His HK G53 fully loaded and ready to go with his backpack packed with all the essentials including a fresh bottle of water and some newer rations to help sustain him on the journey. He did not know how long Bubblegum wanted to stay there and he was unsure about going empty handed again.

Suddenly the door burst open, revealing Finn and Jake, both striking superhero poses in the doorway. "We're ready P-Bubbs, let's do this thing!" Finn spoke, raising his hands into the air as he progressed, clearly getting himself 'psyched up'.

Bubblegum prepped the 3 people on the itillery for the day. "So, Dave's vault is about 220 miles away from the castle, in the badlands... So, in order to protect us from any harmful radiation, mutants or general threats, we are taking the spider walker, while the Morrow would get us there quicker and give us protection from aggressors, it will not withstand the radiation nearby".

"Mathematical!"

And with that, the quartet of chaos made there way to the under-castle chambers were Bubblegum kept all of her experiments and machines too unwieldy to keep in the upper lab (or just so heavy that they may cause the superstructure of the castle to collapse from the top).

The group all put on protective suits, excluding Dave, whose gear was deemed sufficient to protect him from both physical trauma and the radioactive particles in the air, as shown by his capability to make it out of the vault alive.

4 and a half hours later...

"Uhhh.. Are we there yet?" Asked Finn.

"Man.. We are not going to suddenly get there in the 10 seconds since asking that same question.." Responded Jake, evidently getting tired of Finn getting tired of waiting.

"Well, we only have a couple miles left to cover, some of these buildings look familiar, I can even recognise that one.. I used to live there.. For at least a few months... Well, anyway, we are close now, if you really want to stretch your legs, you can walk the last bit, it's only to.. to that mountain..." Dave pointed to the large mountain range that seemed to crop out of the desert rather suddenly. Dave was close to a place of emotional significance to him but he held back as best as he could... Sufficient to fool most but not Bubblegum...

"Are you okay Dave? I understand if you want to cry or anything.."

"Yeah.. Fine.. I know you are trying to help me to feel better about this place but a lot happened here... But I know that everything that has happened, is just an event, that there is no way of going back and no way of changing anything that did happen.. the only thing I can do is move on and keep my options open... Better than running myself into a corner and feeling sorry for myself... Nature won't.."

Bubblegum took what he said personally, as though she could learn to do the same, to let go of old grudges and to forgive others for things that they did a long time ago... But that time to think was cut short by the approaching mountain that cropped up from the horizon and touched the sky, creeping up as they got closer...

"Woah... You stayed HERE? This place is awesome..."

"Yeah.. I bet Marceline would be soo jealous of a cave home like that.."

Jake and Finn continued to chatter and Bubblegum finished the journey, bringing the speed down and coming to a stop just beyond the mountain to disembark.

Dave was to lead the party from this point, using his Pip-boy to guide him, open the door and get all of them inside. "Only 300 meters to go.." Climbing up the hill, Dave reached the old mesh door, taking a deep breath and a sigh, Dave swung open the ancient door, revealing the corridor he walked and feared walking down. He had little reason to fear or worry more, he was already past his father's place of death.

At the end of the tunnel, now clearly man-made, was a giant door, the door had amber writing around it with three numbers in the middle- 277. Dave felt a shiver go down his spine as he neared the door.

"So people dug this tunnel to keep other people inside it in the event of an apocalyptic event, appropriate considering they had developed the weapons necessary to wipe out almost all life on the planet 5 times over..." Bubblegum had spoken aloud to keep Finn and Jake in the flow of things while Dive simply nodded in confirmation.

Dave checked back on the pip-boy for the picture he wanted, he had only taken one- the picture of the code required to enter the vault. Entering the code that was a simple 12 digit number code. "Prepare yourselves" Dave said behind the gas mask, the three behind him lowering reflective visors, covering their faces in a way that almost made them look like astronauts in space suits.

Hitting the enter key, a loud klaxon could be heard on the other side of the door, when the sound died out a brief pause could be heard before a screeching noise that almost deafened the group, all of them silently hoping it wouldn't go on any longer. When the noise finally subsided and the dust cloud settled Dave looked into the entrance area to find that little had changed since his departure.

With the movement of his arm he beckoned the others to follow, he was guiding them through to the overseer's computer, to obtain any information he and Bubblegum could get on other vaults and the possibilities these may offer for development of the candy kingdom and because Dave wanted to at least try to repay the people for helping him up after his experience in the vault.

Bubblegum was amazed at the fact that the rusted metal halls that still stood, despite all of time pushing down on them, still stable enough to withstand a small explosion from a hand grenade or similar force. _I don't believe this was so close to the royal Congressional Hall all along... I just don't believe it..._

Finn wasn't far behind Bubblegum in thought, _There were humans here just a few hundred years ago... and there still are humans here... that is so math..._

Reaching the corridor that would take them all to 'the centrifuge' as Dave had taken to calling it in conversation. Until they heard movement from behind one of the doors along the corridor. Dave looked back to the three visitors and saw that they had been silent since entering, this noise was not them...

Dave ordered the group stack up against a wall next to the door, they lined up, Dave knocked three times, heavy fisted with each one. No response...

"Listen up... I have a collection of frag grenades here and if you feel like being anti-social any longer, I can toss a few your way.. with the pins out.. but if you feel chatty we can work wit it... Interested?" Dave made an offer to the person, bluffing about his possessions, he had no grenades but he only needed to get in and to point his gun and nothing else would really matter then.

"Okay... Don't do it.. I will come quietly..."

The voice was muffled but somewhat familiar.. Dave knew this voice from before...

"Wait.. is that... the security officer from the day the bombs fell?"

"No way.. Is that the kid I let in on the day?"

"Yeah.. it is! I don't believe you got up! Seriously... we need to get talking... I have seen some pretty amazing shit..."

"Awesome... give me a sec.. Just shutting down the sentry guns..."

 _Close call Dave... That could've gone much worse... and this guy had no idea it was me, he could have thought I was some raider... Just saved some lives..._

The door swung open to reveal the man standing with his arms open, asking for an embrace that two lost brothers may have after years of separation. Dave never got to know the officer but he felt the same.. A familiar face was a good thing to have in this time of need and confusion.

"Dave.. the"

"You remembered my name! Over 1000 years and you remembered! You are actually the best person ever..." Dave said, interrupting the security officer making both the officer and Finn feel slightly uneasy to know he could say a thing like that.. just forgetting everything they had done for him but blissfully unaware of the other's opinion as well...

"Sorry about that mate... I have been through a lot and I don't recall your name..." Dave said, scratching the back of his head and removing the gas mask.

The security officer would've like to continue the conversation but he was interrupted with his noticing of the other three characters behind, wearing large full body suits.

"Who are they?" The officer said pointing to the others.

"Oh, these are my new friends, all from the outside... All from beyond the vaults.. the world has changed and in more ways than I care to describe to you right now... But I'll describe these people to you now.. put you in the know.."

"Right... Okay.. Want to come in a have a seat? I have fresh fungus growing and I am mostly sure it is not highly poisonous..."

"That would be great... thank you again..."

Dave and the officer had lead the entire conversation, keeping the others quiet, the officer had no idea what was going to happen in the next 2 minutes...

First, Bubblegum was to come in only to be shot in the shoulder by a heavy caliber round that quickly pierced through to Finn, knocking them over each other, Bubblegum on top while the bullet continued through and was finally stopped by Dave's G53, shredding the firing mechanism and rendering the weapon permanently broken.. beyond repair..

The sentry guns had not been shut down but reset to target mutated material and as Bubblegum walked through, she was detected.. Finn was just caught in the crossfire... Dave a quick move to take out his secondary and destroy the sentry gun before a follow up shot could be fired...

"Oh shit... fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck..." Dave was panicking, not expecting this to happen at all.. _Med-x... Numb the pain... check the wounds.. treat what you can... Then.. i don't know... we'll figure that out when we get there..._

Dave went to his pip-boy, selecting multiple doses of the drug and administering the drug to both of the victims.. The officer watched in anticipation, hoping his little mess up hadn't cost him two of his new friends before they couldn't even open their mouths to talk.

Bubblegum was first, her shouting was reduced to a few discomforted grunts after a few seconds, removing her helmet and Jake, so far just stunned at the events, the drama of the whole scenario, was quickly tasked with taking Finn's helmet off and administering his dose of the drug.

 _Finn can come after.. he took the bullet after bubblegum already slowed it.. he will have less tissue damage and his height means he will only loose a collar bone or something similar... Bubblegum will need attention right now..._

Dave gave Bubblegum a stimpack to the shoulder in an attempt to reduce the damage..

 _But stimpacks are just mixtures of disinfectants, stem cells and local blood clotting agents.. it won't saver but it'l help her to hold on.._

"Bonnie... Can you hear me? Can you hear me Bonnie..."

Bubblegum could hear him but she was weak... she needed support.. support that drugs couldn't give her... "Yeah... Dave... I ... I got you... Dave... Am.. Am I dying?"

"No... you have been shot with a 50. caliber round to shoulder... You need immediate attention... is there anyone in Ooo that can treat you? Anyone at all? I can't treat you by myself..."

"Well... There is one person... Betty Groff... She is a human like you, also from the past... But I won't make it to her... Not in this condition..."

"I can look for her... But now we have to treat you but I can't do that... not here..."

 _Well... there... there is the centrifuge... and there are 2 empty seats now... if that is what is needed then very well..._

"Bonnie... I am going to have to put you in the centrifuge... the life support will prevent you from dying.. Same goes for Finn, looking at his wounds.. a couple of stimpacks won't cover it..."

"Okay then... Do it... See you on the other side Dave..."

With that Bubblegum passed out, leaving Dave with the officer, Jake and Finn who was still mostly conscious.. "So.. Dave.. what next... what can you do?.."

"I am sorry.. the damage is too much for me to treat on my own... we have got to put both of you into the centrifuge... it's life support will keep you both alive until I get to Betty Groff and gather the medical supplies we need..."

"Mathematical..." Finn passed out...

Carrying the two over to the centrifuge, made easier by Jake's ability to just pick them up and carry them, following Dave as he ran ahead to guide the way and open the door into the chamber. The officer begin left to wonder how this entire thing just happens...

 _A pink woman got shot along with a boy, who was with a talking, stretching dog? Dave has a lot to explain..._

The two, now fully unconscious characters were laid down in their own pods, with their protective gear off of them, laying in their under suits. Dave was busy checking the central column computer for safety checks...

 _The cryo units are all imbalanced... If I reorganise them... There.. time flows smoothly now inside but at a 1:7 ratio... a day for each week here..._

The pods were closing shut now... the drills and noises were enough to make both Jake and the Officer wince as they saw it happen from another perspective for the first time...

"Aaand... there.. Done.. they are fully integrated and the life support is stabilising them.. they should be safe for as long as the vault doesn't suffer a power cut or anything..."

The officer spoke, calmly for someone who had just seen all he had just seen... "Okay.. so you met these people outside.. they included a bi-pedal talking, stretching dog and a woman that has very pink skin..."

"Not just pink skin, she is made of Bubblegum..." Jake interrupted... "And that kid is my bro... don't mess with him man.."

"Adopted brothers?"

Jake looked to Dave, obviously he didn't know what that word meant... Dave simply nodded.

"So.. It looks like we are going on a hunt for a person called Betty Groff... Any idea who that may be? Because I have no idea... I thought Finn was the only human in Ooo..."

Dave turned his head to the officer "Oh yeah.. that is what this land is called now.. It's called Ooo.. and Humans are something of a rarity.. As in Finn, Jake's adoptive brother in the only other human anyone knows of..."

"Right.. and would you like to know my name too or do you want to just keep on calling me 'mate'?"

 **[Author's notes]**

 **Well.. it's been a while and as you can see.. we now have some momentum going... things will start happening a lot more now... more characters and more interactions on the horizon...**

 **I can't promise a frequent update rate but I do have plans written out for the rest of this chapter (and the next one) There is now a likely finishing point for this storey...**

 **This was the first chapter to be written over a few days and with a plan.. all previous chapters were written right from my head on about 2-3 hours and then proof-read by myself once before uploading... thanks very much for reading and be sure to show support if you want more...**


	7. Chapter 7: Operation Revival

Finn's mind was ablaze with ideas, he was effectively trapped in his own mind, unable to reach out of feel any other senses. Potential thoughts of what may happen to him, what may happen to Bubblegum, Jake, Dave, BMo... Flame Princess...

 _What is going to happen to them... Will I die?.. What will happen to me?.. Does Dave have a plan?.. Does anyone have a plan?.._

Suddenly, Finn heard a voice, not like any voice he had heard before... Not like a voice he could hear but could understand... not listening with his ears but with his mind.

"Hello and good Mourning/Afternoon/evening to you and welcome to Vault 277- Here at Vault-tech we specialise in the protection of life and here we are proud to announce that you have been admitted into one of many unique vaults and in this vault, you will be given the extremely luck experience of a new technology designed for the long-term storage of human life and here at Vault-tech we pride ourselves on this, our greatest technology for the preservation of people, a unique mixture of VR simulation and Cryonics to give you a significantly extended lifespan as you wait with us here in the safety of the Vault."

 _Oohh Yeah... So me and P-Bubbs are gonna' wade it out until they get help from someone else... or... o_ _r until they get something else..._

With that, the voice was silenced. Finn was suddenly aware of his senses again, all at once... He could feel his skin on his body, the heat of his body, the light breeze on his skin and a million other senses he had never appreciated before. Confused for a brief moment, Finn found that despite having full memory of what happened to him and Bubblegum, he could feel he was standing upright, breathing fine, feeling fine, great in fact.

He opened his eyes and looked around, pleased to find the sunlight did not blind him as he opened up. Looking around he found that he was greeted by a large group of people (although 'greeted' may be a strong word for this occasion), looking shocked, as though he had just appeared out of thin air. From their perspective he effectively did, his waist long blonde hair dripping back, not tucked into his white bear hat which was no where to be seen, replaced with a simple baseball cap. He still wore shorts but this time, a light brown colour and his shirt was stripped, Finn felt strangely naked without his bear hat.

Looking to his right, he could see Bubblegum grow into existence beside him, also out of thin air although, she did not appear to have the same pink skin, she had a human appearance about her, she looked older than the she did in reality, like an old woman in fact with wrinkly skin and wore clothes that would only be described as 'old clothes' with little else to say about them.

Despite her appearance, she was alive, springy and surprisingly... shouty...

"OH MY GLOB... WE'RE HERE! THERE ARE HUMANS HERE!"

"Prubbs, you're hurting me..."

Realising Bubblegum had grabbed Finn's (Or the person she presumed to be Finn, aged what seemed only 13 years old) shirt and was not directly shaking him but was shaking with anticipation and coincidently shaking Finn. She let go and began to calm herself.

"Okay ... Atme .. In und out, in und out ..."

"You good Prubbs?"

"Yeah.. I'm good.." Bubblegum had now noticed she had made something of a scene, everyone on the cul-de-sac was staring at them. From the internal perspective, one guy and then another guy just disappeared, people began to function at different speeds and then suddenly, everyone was functional again, then a few seconds later, these two peculiar people just appeared out of nowhere and seemed to be the ones freaking out when it felt the other way around would be more appropriate.

Finn, noticing Bubblegum's continued procedure of calming and relaxing, proceeded to talk to the people first. "Greeting and salutations to the people of vault 266.. no wait.. 277.. that's it.. Yeah, anyway, we come from the land beyond this... simulation.. We come from the land of Ooo.."

Bubblegum had regained her composure and begun to talk.

"This is Finn, the last human.. excluding all of you of course... and Dave.." Taking a brief pause, partly for dramatic effect and partly because she had to think of a way of explaining their current situation to the people surrounding them without sounding insane.

"And I am Bonnibel Bubblegum, I am... royalty in my own kingdom.." Bubblegum managed to keep the situation sound mostly sane, keeping them from finding out about her gummy composure until it was easily verifiable.

A voice interrupted Bubblegum, a young man of 20 years or so. "Welcome to vault 277, I suppose you have met with Dave then? Good to hear that civilisation still stands in some manner... I am the overseer of this vault... the Earl only without any kingdom or royal system to back me up. Being chosen by rank and attributes rather than being born into it is how we worked before the bombs. So what exactly happened outside then? Is Dave still alive?"

By this point, everyone else had grown silent, amazed they hadn't noticed the 20 year old guy that spoke a stupid idea but seemed to make more sense than anyone else could think of making. The simulation thing would explain why these two people just appeared and the bombs would explain why there is a kingdom in America, a country that fought to escape the rule of a monarchy.

Finn tried his turn at talking, thinking that the age difference between Bubblegum, himself and The Overseer would give him minor traction... also he was tired of hearing old lady Bubblegum talking with her lively attitude but old lady voice... It creeped Finn out more than he felt is should've. He knew she was over 800 years old...

"Dave is fine, he saved me and Bubblegum... I found him after he followed us to a friend's home and after a minor interrogation, then we took him to Bubb's place for a checkup and to see her reaction to another human.."

Finn didn't realise for a moment, then he caught on to his mistake, he described a friend and Bubblegum as though they were not humans, Bubblegum noticed that they may pick up on this when she described him as the 'last human' but this just reinforced the idea that Bubblegum could be something else...

"Hold on... if Finn is the last human and he has a friend as well as you but you don't consider yourself a human and neither does the friend... If that is the case, are you a mutant of some description? A mutant of some description perhaps?"

"No no no no no no.. My name is Bubblegum... Because I rule a kingdom made of candy... with living candy residents... I am also made of Bubblegum... But I am over 800 years old... and as for the friend... her name is Marceline... she was around when the bombs fell herself, first hand experience... she is a vampire... not like mentally, she is the daughter of the ruler of the nightosphere... the 'hell' that you may be familiar with.. Look, a lot has changed since the bombs.. I mean A LOT but I can't prove any of this until Dave gets back with medical supplies and Betty..."

It suddenly dawned on her..

"Oh Glob.. I never told him where or when Betty was going to show up... I hope he has some idea about what I meant... he should know.. I give it about 3 days and if nothing is heard back, we need to send someone else out, check on him and relay a message to him..."

Ignoring the 'when' part of what she just said and at the very least, flattering her potential insanity, as was possibly evident by her title of 'living gumball', The Overseer made a reassuring move.

"We can send another person out if need be... He has to have some idea on what to do though.. He is a smart guy and if he survived long enough to find, track, meet up and join in with you then he can't go too badly..."

[Back in the vault but not in the simulation...]

"The name's Gary Schrödinger, no relation to the weird german guy or whatever"

"Well, Gary this is Jake the Dog" Dave said gesturing towards the dog in a spacesuit.

"Hi" Jake said, minimalistically as though little had just happened, he was already calm again and had forgotten most of what had just happened already. This lead the other two to believe he had a very short attention span.

Dave restarted the conversation. "So how did you survive for 5 days in here anyway?"

"There was a lot of condensation in that room you found me in and the fungus growing in the corners are at least mostly edible."

"So... would you like to eat some real food or are you happy to continue with fungal dieting?"

A brief moment of pause before Gary spoke.

"Yes... Yes I do... I want to eat real food... the fungus are burning my insides slightly anyway..."

With that, the new trio made their way to the exit of the vault, Dave went up to the spider walker, just beyond the view from the front gate. Returning with fresh food from the stores, about a week's worth of food, designed for human consumption with slightly reduced sugar for Dave's sake. On the way back from the spider walker, Dave heard a barely audible pop sound from behind.

Looking around he spotted a burned, still slightly burning cricket bat hit the floor, blinking for a second, very confused as to what had just happened, Dave rubbed his eyes with both hands before seeing nothing there, it was gone... Pushing the thought back to the pit of his mind, he carried on, taking no note of it.

Arriving back at the vault, Gary was eager to try the food, getting visibly bored of conversation from Jake, he must have had an even shorter attention span than Jake to be this bored this quickly, but his frown soon changed into a mischievous grin as he saw Dave, carrying a variety of rations.

"Oh ohohohohoh yeah..." Grabbing one pack, it almost burned his hand as he dropped it in the floor.

"Oh, yeah, Bubblegum had a few automated heating packs in there, they heat themselves to give a warm meal... I like them but if you are desperate, you may burn yourself... try to plan meals a little in advance, you know.. ration them?"

"Right..." The meal now being cool enough to pick up and enjoy. Gary went to pick up and enjoy it, cramming rather than savoring...

"So, Bubblegum said I needed to look for a person called 'Betty' but I thought me and Finn where the only humans in Ooo... I guess we should look for clues in her lab.. that is probably the first step..."

"I will stay here... You will need someone to keep the cryo coils aligned in your absence and if anyone or anything tries to go looting... I can stop them... with some sentry guns... Just say 'I really hope Gary likes these new rations of chocolate cake we brought for him' when you near the corner and I will disable the turrets.. this time to not shoot anyone... not just mutants of any description..."

"Right.. I will be back in 1 week or earlier with either Betty and medical supplies or additional rations... see you then.. If you need any more rations and we are not back within 2 days after a week is up, there are a few more in the spider walker, just go in there.. sleep in there if you want.. it's probably cleaner too... it even has a shower..."

Gary's eyes widened at the word 'shower' and was happy to commit to his duty. Dave convinced Jake to let him ride him up to Bubblegum's castle, "another 200 miles and we can begin the mission... _Mission revival? Oh yeah.. I am naming this one 'Revival'..._

[Author's note]

So I finally have a storey arc going now! This is not by any means the endgame, I am not even a third of the way through this... got a long way to go.. Thank you for reading thus far if you did, if not then you cheated.. back to the start...

Also I do not own any part of Fallout or Adventure time or any character other than Dave and Gary.. I made those up... Just clearing all of that because I have not put a disclaimer in any one for a few weeks now.. this disclaimer goes for all further and prior chapters of this storey...

P.S. The Cricket bat will have relevance later on... easter eggs pointed out ho!


	8. Chapter 8: Teaming up and revalations

Arriving at the Candy Kingdom's castle, Dave and Jake took no break in entering the main castle through a window, certain they would not interrupt anyone as the main resident was 200 miles away in a cryo simulation program, suffering a 50. caliber bullet to the gut.

Making his way to the lab, Dave prepared himself to search through any number of files, computer organised or cabinet stored to find anything he could on the one called Betty Grof...

Dave knew Bubblegum was smart but the fact that her knowledge was gappy and broken up made it hard to understand which files he should even bother looking into and which ones where going to be useless.

Recalling the mourning and noticing the time on the wall being nearly 11pm, Dave made some effort but tried to make sense of what she told him in an attempt to guide him in the right direction...

 _So.. She said she was a human like me... In both senses of the word human, she is likely human in nature, similar to bubblegum or she is a genuine human like me... either way she would be in either social contacts or human biology files for those particular attributes.._

Searching for 2 hours straight, Dave knew he wasn't making any progress, simply wading in paper and basking in the pale green light of a computer monitor while making futile attempts at fixing what he felt personally responsible for...

 _I brought her to the vault... I should have checked for activity first.. I should've known better than to leave sentry turrets on, they are on or they are off.. never between... mmnNAGARH!_

Dave snapped... Taking full personal responsibility for the action.. in a hate induced rage for his own stupidity, he attacks the piles of paper, knocking them down like a certain Giant lizard of old japanese cinema would be seen doing to cities, complete with sound effects...

Lashing out at the paper monoliths, not sure if he was hitting them for the sake of hitting them or if he wanted his fists to hurt some more, he eventually gave in to a calmer moment, taking deep breaths, and standing amidst the carnage he had brought about... A not so subtle metaphor for how he felt inside his own head...

"Excuse me? Is everything okay in here?" Peppermint Butler had shown up to find that Dave had effectively awoken most of the castle staff asleep at the time, a large majority waiting just beyond the door way the Minty butler was peering through... He knew Dave was there, he knew Bubblegum was missing and took it upon himself to run the kingdom in the same manner as she would have, should she be sick or generally busy.

Taking a deep sigh, Dave did not turn his back. "Everything is.. just dandy..." Speaking with a layer of uncertainty for what he just said and with a pinch of frustration although he knew he felt much worse. Trying to present himself as being in some level of control where he was actually completely unaware of what he should do. "You know what.. I am just going to go to bed, don't clean any of this up... I made the mess and I will clean it... And I need to remember where everything is.. So goodnight Peppermint... And if I am not out of bed in 9 hours, please make sure to wake me, I don't need to be late again... I have lost enough time today.."

 _Fuck it... I need some sleep... Maybe I will be better at this with a clean slate... shower, bed, breakfast...Try again tomorrow..._

Dave had been told that Jake lied about Bubblegum not being able to smell, it seemed to be a funny joke to play and Bubblegum's reaction to Dave's smell made Finn and Jake snicker and giggle, subtly disgusted although not much more than when Finn was near, mostly because Finn didn't want to be clean, still refusing to take baths unless he was made to.

Dave took to lying into his bed, still wearing his underlayer to his body armour. Resting his head on the plush pillows, he could see how the light from the fireplace danced across the ceiling, making projections onto the many indentations, crafting their own little storey. Dave slipped once again, into unconsciousness.

Dave, now fully aware of his state of mind being asleep, could not make any sense of the 'sight' before him. _...An owl?.. Made of stars?.. I suppose there has been a loud 'hoot' every time I woke up since showing up in Ooo... Maybe if I could speak to it?.. It wouldn't be the dumbest thing to happen to me since getting here..._

"Hey, you.. Giant owl.. I can tell you heard me, you are just trying to look away from me now... Don't try not to make eye contact... We're the only things floating a void and you are acting like you could just look away and I would just assume you were the wrong person and go away... I've got all night mate so start talking..."

The owl gave up on trying to avoid conversation.

"Oh... uhh.. Hey.. Guy.."  
"It's Dave"

"Yeah.. Dave.. Dave Dave Dave... Yeah, I am the Cosmic owl and I have been dictating your future..."

 _That can't be true... The future doesn't exist.. It is just a concept for people to help grasp potential change... Anything is possible.. Then again, it isn't the dumbest thing anyone has told me either..._

The Cosmic owl continued.. "I have been watching you Dave, but now this will be our last encounter... The one rule about me is that, whatever happens in a dream with me present happens in real life, with some very minor exceptions but they should not be likely to happen again.. Jake had a croak dream that should've resulted in his death but it didn't quite go according to plan.."

"So, are you a force of nature or something?.. Not intrinsically good or evil?"

"Wow.. first time... Nice.. Yeah I am a God but if you want to call me a force of nature instead then you can... I'm cool with that.. Anyway, I have to tell you, mostly because I feel some higher order telling me to.. Like I am strangely compelled..."

"How do you mean? Like there is some God to you as a God?"

"More like a plot hole.."

"What?"

"I said nothing... Look.. I need to keep the wheels turning and you are not thinking in the right way... Retrace your steps... Get help from anyone you can... You will know what I mean..."

"I don't know what you mean.."

"Yeah you do.. I can read your friggin' mind, stop trying to get out of doing the hard work..."

"Fine... So.. Retrace my steps.. Get help from someone... I think I've got it.."

"Good.. Now get up and get going... And one last thing.."

"What's that?"

"Hoot"

With this sound Dave awoke from his sleep.. fully remembering every detail...

 _Retrace your steps... Look for help from anyone you can... He must be running out of riddles or something because I think that is pretty transparent..._

Dave was up, awake, the time was just after 9 am.. _7 hours sleep.. I've done worse..._

Leaving Peppermint Butler a note to say he was going, he set about calling Jake and getting ready for a short trip... _The only person that could directly help me... That I can think of asking right now... Marceline..._

Dave ran back to the lab, checking Bubblegum's contacts and found phone numbers... Searching through the list of names he found the one he wanted in a matter of minutes..

 _M, M, Marceline... There... Now all I need is a phone... Where the hell does she keep a phone? A landline presumably because she does not have a lot of papers on orbital dynamics..._

"Peppermint Butler!" Dave shouted down the hallway, little footsteps could be heard coming around the corner before his small face could be seen, or at least half of it as he was still cowering slightly, trying not to enrage Dave being as he was not sure how long it would take Dave to calm himself down and while Peppermint did have many forms of dark magic on his side, he currently lacks a demonic circle, a sacrifice and the 2 or so minutes he would need to speak the incantation.

"Yes sir?"

"Where is the phone.. I need to make a call... A couple of calls.."

Relieved that Dave seemed almost happy about his progress, Peppermint spoke more confidently, appearing fully from around the corner. "The nearest one is in the whistling room... Just down to the end of the corridor and to the left."

"Cheers mate..."

With that Dave was off, running down the corridor at full speed. Reaching the room, a simple room with nothing but a chair on one side and a phone on a table on the other side of the door way, a simple window on the far side and that was all... _Strange use of space.._

Sitting in the chair, Dave took out the phone book with the contacts he needed, first calling Jake to make sure he was going to come...

"Hello? Bubblegum is that you?"

"Nope, she has not suddenly recovered, trecked 200 miles and decided to give you a call before a celebratory party was to take off with double cake for everyone, this is Dave, We need to go and meet with Marceline. Are you capable of coming over and taking me to her or will I have to do it myself?"

"Sorry man... I can't do it without Finn... I'm not sure i can do much without him anymore, I even made too many bacon pancakes!"

"It's fine Jake.. I can take care of this myself... But if you want it to go a bit quicker, you can always just take me there..."

"..."

"Jake?.. Jake are you there?"

"..Yeah.. Okay, I can do that.. But no closer than behind the hill.. She still scares me sometimes... She can't know I was ever there.."

"Consider it done.."

The line was broken and Dave went for the next call...

The phone rang for only a few seconds before Marceline picked up, "Bonnie? What do you want now?"

"Not Bonnie, It's Dave... Listen, Bonnie and Finn have both been mortally wounded in my old vault and the cosmic owl, if that is a genuine thing, told me to retrace my steps and ask for help... I know you are the only one I can think of to help but if you help me... I can make it worth your while..."

A brief moment of silence seemed to grow and grow for about a minute, although it felt more like an hour as Marceline considered what Dave had just said. She spoke with a calm and controlled tone. "...Meet me at my place... I'll be waiting."

And the line was cut, _Time to get moving I guess... I wonder how long Jake will take to get here.._

As if by sheer comedic timing, as though an external force was influencing the movement of time around him, Jake appeared in the window, a giant form of himself standing in the ground with his face looking in on him. "Ready to go?" Jake said, slightly nervous about going got Marceline's place.

"Let's do it, she is already there and waiting..."

About 40 minutes of giant dog sprinting later, equivalent to about 200 miles distance from the castle, Dave arrived at the cave Marceline called home. The hill blocking a good view of the cave was were Jake chose to shrink down to his normal (or at least most comfortable) size and Dave was forced to disembark.

"Well.. thanks for taking me this far... I will see about informing you when Finn is okay again, or when we need help with something... That probably won't be too long... Either way, thanks.."

"It's cool, anything to get my bro back.."

With that, the magic dog ran away, increasing into a larger size before disappearing into the distance. _Time to talk I guess...I wonder what Marceline and Bonnie had in common... Was it their age or something?.. Maybe they are good friends being as they are both roughly the same age... Maybe I shouldn't ask until I am done working with her.._

Knocking on the door, Dave was swept into the house he recognised but was pulled in by Marceline who quickly shut the door behind him. "Okay, so what happened to Bonnie? What happened to Finn?

"Well.. it is a long storey, would you like to hear the abridged version or the long version?"

"Is there time for the longer one?"

"Well.. let's say they aren't going anywhere... So yeah, we have time..."

"Okay, let me get comfortable." Said Marceline as she moves her floating form into a slightly more slouching position, still floating. "You may begin.."

"Well.. The four of us, Bubblegum, Finn, Jake and myself were going to my old vault, my hole in the to check it out and learn and maybe bring humans back to Ooo. Unfortunately, one of the security guards, the very one that let me in 1000 years ago, also woke up at the same time but never left the vault. He had sentry guns and they shot Bubblegum through the lower shoulder and Finn through the Sternum, then straight into my G53, were the round currently resides... I was able to stabilize them but they needed proper treatment and with equipment and skills that I don't have, with what could have been Bubblegum's dieing words, she told me to find 'Betty Grof', a Human like myself that may or may not actually exist... yet.. Finding nothing of note in her notes and computers, I was visited by the cosmic owl that night and he basically said to come to you... Also Hi, how have you been? It's been about a week since we last met right?"

Dave had not only described the entire series of events, but had also gone as far as to notice that simple formalities had gone unnoticed, wanting to make the situation a little more regular to him, adding the last part was only natural to him.

Marceline floated in surprise, not so much as to say she was shocked but surprised. She had not heard the name Betty Grof in many centuries, but she did know a little about her.

"You need to find Betty Grof? How did Bonnie find out about her?"

"I need you to stay as on task as possible, if you know who she is then please tell me.."

"She was Simon's fiancé, before the bombs and the crown, I never actually met her but Simon used to talk about her... before he changed..."

"And who is Simon? I understand this is a big world but really? It seems that Finn being the last human was just a joke or something..."

Marceline was getting just as annoyed as Dave, Dave was being almost hysterical, fearing that every second he lost was a second that he may need later. Marceline was just annoyed at his tone of voice. He wanted everything explained but he didn't have time for everything.

"Simon, or the Ice king as he is more frequently know as now, was a human, the key word there is WAS a human but he changed after he put on the crown, he went insane and he couldn't keep on being Simon... Either way, we will need to get Simon to get to Betty, and to do that we need to remove the magic, not just take the crown off him... That is easy enough but the magic wont just leave him... We need to remove it without killing him, he is slightly older than me and if the magic dies, then he dies too and we can't allow that."

"So what do we do then? Can we remove the insane part only? Can we do anything other than just kill him?"

"NO.. no you can't kill him... He's.. been an important part of my life for a very long time... Since just after the bombs fell... He doesn't remember but it's not fair to just cut him out like that... There has to be another way... Maybe the magical community can help..."

"Right, so at least we know which direction we should go... Which way to the nearest magical settlement?.. And how far do we have to go? If I didn't know any better I would assume that the settlement would be many miles away... Many hundreds of miles away..."

"That would be correct.. Want a lift?"

"I am curious as to how you would manage that... You don't have any vehicles around do you?"

And as Marceline laughed slightly, mostly at what she would do to Dave. Looking forward to his reaction, she simply picked him up and carried him in a fashion similar to how a newly wed couple would, with the wife being picked up by the groom... making Dave feel uncomfortable...

Marceline simply chose to fly to the nearest and biggest settlement... Wizard city...

 **[Author's note]**

 **So, that is another chapter done! Well.. I actually wrote a plan for this, the last two and the next one to all be one chapter but it turns out the writing process is longer than I expected... Not in a bad way of course... I get to write more!**

 **Don't worry, this little storey arc is not the main arc, although it does lead up to it, sparking the events of the entire endgame... But we'll have no spoilers for that... Not just yet...**

 **Thanks for reading so far! Leave a review for the storey so far or on this chapter alone or whatever! I just want to know how you are all receiving it... Because my current view of the fanbase of this storey is a small crowd of [blanck] [blanck]s that [blanck]... At least something to tell me you aren't just following to see how much I can screw myself over on my first storey.. Either way, Thanks!**


	9. Chapter 9: Getting Together

[Man I am dragging this out... So I found the file was suddenly "Uncorrupted"... No idea from me so I guess I will just leave it to you... If you wanted this to continue, leave a review/PM for me and tell me... This is the last chapter if no one says something... The ending was just a coincidence of timing...]

After 2 minutes of screaming and a further 3 minutes of confused and awkward silence, Dave grew slightly more comfortable being carried by Marceline, who tehn noticed that the silence had grown to annoy her more than the screaming, at least that had some comical factor.

Sparking conversation when they neared the library kingdom, home of turtle princess... For some reason, Marceline thought of a quick starter.. But she didn't know what she wanted right now, _Do I want to have fun with him or do I want to keep it serious?.. If I screw this up too much then both Finn and Bonnie could die... But I don't want Dave to get the wrong idea... Uuugghh... I think I want at least a little sitrep..._

"So.. what exactly happened at the vault? Why can't you just take them somewere else like the hospital of Ooo?"

"Well... It was a heavy caliber sniper round fired from a computer assissted sentry gun... This means it calculated the best way to do as much damage as possible and to neutralise the situation, even though there was no situation..."

"So.. what exactly happened?"

"The round went through Bubblegum's shoulder and shattered most of her shoulder blade, the resulting shrapnel may cause massive internal bleeding and she may be made of bubblegum but I am certain that she would not survive the trip to the hospital... Actually considering she has no real bones, the large structure she uses as bones likely shattered, they aren't bones but they are hard enough to work in the same way.."

"So, she needs to fix herself up but she would not survive long enough to get out of the vault... What about Finn?"

"Finn took the same bullet, it went through his upper right torso, likely destroying his right lung, while he could survive with that alone, the fact that he was also internally bleeding and that the bullet, with a little less force and on genuine human bones, caused a fracture to his right shoulder blade and a couple of broken ribs, and the bullet continued on it's way into my gun, disabling it's firing mechanism... The sentry was shut down after the first shot..."

"How the Nightosphere do you know about the state of their bones? I thought you just carried them into pod or something..."

"It is little more than an educated guess... Worst case scenario, best prepare them for the worst or we may be caught out... we don't want that... If we are lucky, the cryo pods also have something to keep an infection from taking place, that would be the icing on their eternal cake... No pun intended."

"So, what is the best case scenario?"

"The meds I gave them before going in saved them form bleeding out, the cryo device stops the internal bleeding and will keep them pickled for long enough for us to gather the appropriate supplies... And then we come back, take them out, and we all walk home into the setting sun in time for tea and scones... As I said, best case scenario..."

She almost didn't want to know any more about what had happened to her friends, it creeped her out slightly to find he knew so much about it and that he seemed strangely calm considering he was screaming not 6 minutes ago..

Letting the images fester in her mind and letting Dave enjoy the scenery, she pressed on to wizard city.

Just 20 minutes later, the two found themselves stood in a short valley with a dead end and as she dropped Dave, landing on his feet, just barely managing to not stumble over, making him look like he had no sense of feeling in his legs... because that is exactly what happened to him..

"So... this is the big place?.. Not much of a city to be honest... a little disappointed..."

Marceline ignored him and instead walked forward slightly to the dead end, raised her arms and said "Wizards rule!"

The password spoken, the dead end simply disappeared, revealing a bustling city.

"Now, here, non-wizards are not allowed, you could be arrested and killed so you need to have a cover... the big rules are, do **NOT** talk about science and you need to look like a wizard... it is not too hard for me, being able to fly and all but I imagine Bonnie would be real pissed off at me for turning you into a vampire so I won't... Unless I get hungry.."

Dave chuckled a little, not sure of it was a joke or if she was serious... He did this in times of confusion when he did not know what to do..

"Right.. I think I am happy to retain humanity... Oooh.. I know.."

Dave reached and tapped away at his pip-boy before forming his shotgun into his palm..

"How's this for my wand? I like this kind of magic... heh heh.."

Dave proceed to load incendiary rounds into the gun. "Now I am a fire wizard! heh.. this is going to be too easy..."

"But you don't LOOK the part... Here, this duster coat will do."

Marceline seemed to have pulled a full size coat out of what seemed nowhere, Dave put it on and proceeded to put on the gas mask...

"Oh.. and Before I put on the mask.. you wouldn't have a nice stetson would you? I like that idea... I will put on my gas mask to keep my human identity safe... I don't know how they are about humans..."

"Sure, why not? I will just pull one out of my ASS?!"

"That... That is sarcasm... okay then... Oh well.. The mask is a must though.. I will stay silent, cover for me would you? I know nothing about this place of anything about it's inhabitants..."

"Uhh.. Fine.."

[Into Wizard city]

Inside the city, Dave is quiet, happily observing the populace in all their colours and shapes representing everything impossible in every way and yet, Dave still felt like the weirdo... getting funny looks from passers by...

"Psst.. Marceline... I think they are buying it..."

"You don't say? Maybe you can try taking the mask off and see how that fares for you..."

"That was more sarcasm wasn't it..."

 _...Marceline is getting a little... crude... sarcasm is not like her.. then again.. it's not like I know her very well... I wonder who does though?...I can assume that she is getting annoyed by something... or she is afraid of something... it's not funny sarcasm.. it's just rude..._

Before long, Dave grew a little more bored of the endless change of colour and eventually, the boredom turned into frustration that he turned into confrontational conversation towards Marceline. "Marceline, why are you being like this?"

"Like what?"

"You are not this kind of character... You are afraid of something... Of someone... I would understand if it was worry for your friend of equal immortality, Bonnie. but this is fear of interaction, not of fear of loss... is there someone here, in the city that you wouldn't like to see?"

Marceline was silent... Her facial expression said it all, he was on the ball with his guess... Marceline was of course, thinking of Ash, her ex-boyfriend who not only caused her to break up with him once due to him selling an immensely valuable possesion of hers and again after attempting to trick her into forgetting it with the unintentional help of Finn and Jake... He was once again stopped and broke up with Marceline...

But she feels as though there is still some unclear things she has to finish before she can get over it...

"It's... It's my ex boyfriend... Ash.."

"I can already tell... is he a douchebag? He sounds like a douchebag by his name..."

"What is a douchebag?"

"A person that doesn't care for anyone but themselves and also has a really badly misrepresented self image... Basically a person that has no sense of care for anyone but himself, either in short or long term... Often makes dick-moves.."

"Okay... Yeah I suppose that would cover it.."

"So what did you want to do about him? You can't move on until you forget so much you don't remember his very existence or you can face it and finish it... If things get bad.. we always have fire..."

Dave spoke to reassure Marceline, and indeed it appeared to work, Marceline was looking more confident and had a slight smile on her face. Looking away from Dave, breaking eye contact, she started walking in another direction. "He used to go busking just down the street, let's go pay him a visit..."

"Busking?.. I am going to enjoy this more than I should..."

Peering around the corner, Marceline's assumption was correct. "There he is... the grey skinned guy with the terrible hair and wearing a vest...without anything else..."

"Holy crap he looks like part... was he always like this? Did you fall for this?.. You must've been in a dark place to cling to that..."

"I.. I was..."

"But let's not let that ruin this... Shall we have a little fun with him?"

He touched a sensitive point but he did manage to take it off of her mind, she began formulating a plan. "Hmm... We could confuse him like heck... that would be kinda funny..."

"Yeah.. It wouldn't be too hard to do... But can we do better?" Dave asked, he continued with an idea after noting that Marceline was a little silent, maybe she didn't like the idea of being challenged when it came to prank ideas...

"Yeah.. I suppose it is a little black and white... Maybe we could get him all wet and have you guide him into a tavern where you are disguised as a maid, you reveal yourself as being working here and right as he is about to think you still like him, you get pulled away by me and we just leave like "See ya fool! And don't get any ideas, you are NEVER getting her back after what you did..."... How about that Marceline? How about that?"

Marceline was quiet, Dave just spewed out a whole plan off the top of his head, almost as though he had it ready for a long time. She liked it... It teased him, made it feel like a chance encounter and as though the two were meant to be together... but of course it was rigged.

"Let's do it... I will fly up there and get the could people to get dancing overhead, that should result in some heavy rain... You sort out a spot in the nearest tavern."

"Right, I will- wait.. what about my 'being a human' and all?"

"Just prove you are a wizard of some description.. they really don't care about anything else... use your wrist-computer or your gun or something... That is all you need..."

"Right.. meet me here in 5 minutes.. If I am not back by then, come to the tavern and try not to be seen..."

"See ya then!"

Marceline had a wide grin, she liked this plan, the fact that it met all the criteria she wanted a couple more, it was almost perfect. Going into the Inn just across the road from the square Ash was busking in, completely unaware of Dave's presence in the sea of strangers.

Entering the Inn, Dave was greeted by a doorman that seemed to have no head, just a neck hole that a distant voice emanated from. "Greetings stranger! How do you fare today in this great city? Just visiting for the day or for a little longer?"

"Hello, there, head-less... guy, man..."

"you are not from around here are you?.. Well.. What is your business here anyway?"

"I am here looking for a job for my.. uhh, Mistress.. she needs a job, preferably as a maid, to tend and clean new people that come in for the night."

"Ahh... Well that is convenient, she'll take it!"

"Excellent... She can start as soon as she is ready, I will get Frank to sort out the uniform."

Looking (or as Dave would presume he was, he turned his torso over) to his right to the other character, presumed to be Frank.

Frank appeared to be a Lizard-person, although as Dave saw it, it was a bipedal lizard that appeared to have a human shape and form aside from the head, which was as 'lizzardy' as Dave could have comprehended. The lizard-person named Frank was wearing a red robe which contrasted against his green scales.

"Right, Be right back..." Frank said before walking (although Dave half expected him to slither) away to the back rooms.

After a few seconds of no talk between the door man and Dave, The door man spoke so as to make conversation where he could. "So... what is your title then? I haven't seen any specific apparel to determine your class of wizard."

"Oh Right... I.. Am..."

Dave had not anticipated this- he did want to survive this journey considering how many things he could now do- having moderate medical knowledge is good at the best of times but in this situation- he would be invaluable to almost anyone, Dave didn't want to be killed short of saving Bonnie's and Finn's lives.

 _...Shit.. Lets see... I have a coat.. a gas mask.. Medicine... a gun... Fire wizard.. oh yeah.. I said that before coming in..._

"I am a fire wizard... but I specialise in the delivery of my.. my magic"

"Hmm.. Interesting... How specialised is this method?"

"Well... It involves... uhh.. conjuring the fire in the bottom of this... uhh.. hollow staff.. Then is use it to heat a piece of metal that is blasted out of the end of the.. staff... Causing high accuracy, high impact burning sensations... Like a punch from across a field that also sets you on fire..."

 _...Good save man... I can't tell his facial expression but he is probably buying it..._

"Huh.. I never thought of doing that... Anyway, here comes Frank with the uniform.."

Frank had a maid dress that looked at home in a fantasy movie that involves attractive bar maids- exactly the feel he wanted for Marceline- the perfect atmosphere... It may be a rough on the skin but she would only have to wear it for a short time.

"Thanks guys... I never caught your name... Door man.. Guy.."

"You already have my name.. It's written on my forehead... My ghost head... Wait.. whats with your wizard eyes?.. Can't you see me?"

 _..Oh shit... Don't tell me I just blew my cover..._

"Of course I can! Door man-guy! I am just pulling your leg! Man-guy..."

"Hey Frank.. I don't think this guy's legit... Wait a glob damn second..."

Door Man-guy Proceeded to (or as far as Dave could perceive) look straight into his, still gas mask covered, face before going to remove his mask- revealing greasy dark-brown hair and the face of a human, looking somewhat scared.

 _Fuck..._

Door Man-guy proceeded to hold the gas mask high into the air and shouted out to the rest of the bar- "LOOKIE HERE BOYS! WE GOT US A HUMAN! AND HE AIN'T EVEN A WIZARD!"

At this, the whole tavern began to look at him with eyes, some widening and some narrowing.

"I need human blood for my potion of love!" A wizard that could only be described as a bearded toad with a 'classic wizard hat' and matching robes.

"I need human skin for my magic cloak!" Said a gaseous character that seemed to just emanate sounds ... _a conscious gas cloud?.. What the fuck would a conscious gas cloud need a cloak for?.. I can only assume that none of these people are at all reasonable.._

"JA-A-A-A-A-MES BA-A-A-A-A-AXER!" A horse whinnied in the back, everyone cheering in response.. _Nope.. they are not reasonable... Okay then, the knife comes out and I start running.. Nah.. that won't work.. The gun is already loaded with torches... just shoot at the hay floor and run for the door... They should be distracted sufficiently for me to grab the gas mask and run out...That will have to do..._

At that moment, Dave took his shotgun, already materialised from when he came to the city, and prepared to aim at the floor, laid down with compacted grass and hay- it being a medieval Inn, this made at least a little bit of sense to Dave who reasoned it would be dry.

He fired the gun, sending fiery shrapnel out, deep into the padded and highly flammable floor which proceeded to combust with surprising ferocity, Dave looked to Door Guy-man and grabbed the gas mask from his hands while he stood with his mouth presumably agape at the sudden destruction. A few water wizards were present and quickly began to quench the flame but like a fire extinguisher on hot metal, it required constant pressure to keep it from re-igniting, the heat of the shrapnel keeping it burning more than the fire itself.

Looking around, Frank and Doorman-Guy saw that Dave had run, nowhere to be seen.

"Oh Glob... What was THAT?" Said Frank, Hyperventilating as he could only control his own flames, he could detect when another used flame magic but this gave him a cold feel... A feel he was not used too... Even campfires never burned like this...

"We gonna get him?"

"Well.. we kind of have to... How else is Gassy over there going to get his cloak? Also we may not have jobs anymore... Being as we let a human, non-wizard destroy the bar in it's almost entirety."

"That's fair.. Should we go at him now?"

"No way.. It's almost break time.."

"We are not employed anymore.. you just said it.."

"..."

"Are you okay?"

Frank had a blank look on his face- he didn't know what to do now other than run and get the human... Get the human... Ringing in his head until his train of thought was interrupted by a popping noise and a fireball that appeared out of nowhere- smashing into the rafters, this time even bigger than before, showering most of the bar area in fire. A few people suffered burns but healing wizards were on site before long, treating wounds but by the time they were done, the bar was almost destroyed completely.

"So, Frank, why'd he take a follow up shot? He was in the clear before then.."

"He didn't... that last fireball wasn't at all like his one... it was from the Flame Princess..."

"How do you know what she feels like?"

"I don't have to answer to you... I only know she did that fireball..."

By now, Marceline had the cloud people but as she saw the smoke rising, took to looking for Dave on the street level, his smell was trailed around the square, he moved erratically, seeming to move away from the burning building. She closed in on him when he seemed to stop in an alleyway on the other side of the square.

"Hey... Was that you? The burning building? When I said I need a quick job I didn't mean as a fire extinguisher..."

"Yeah... It got a bit out of hand... It was weird, they blew my cover so I fired a round at the floor and they got control quickly while I broke out but then the fire just suddenly got worse and then that happened..."

"And what do you have to say for yourself?"

"Oops.." He said, shrugging.

"Hey.. don't be so hard on yourself."

Marceline was being sarcastic but it was with a better intent to be humorous, whether it had gone the way he did or didn't intend, he had definitely cheered up Marceline. The entire situation, the fact that he burned a building full of drunkards and flammable materials by incident made her laugh a little.

At that moment, they could both hear a chanting from down a tunnel, interested as to what it was, they journeyed down and found a large chasm of a cave with a walkway in the middle that grew out into a platform. On the platform was a salt circle and a collection of random objects, a sword, a staff, a pair of maracas. But in the middle was a black cube that seemed to emanate a sound like a voice that was funneled through the sludgiest swamp and then filed down by a beaver with sandpaper for teeth, which had not been seen for at least 40 years since the rise of carpentry from beever wood in the south caused the sandpaper-beaver to decline in numbers, their food and building material of choice being reduced with each passing month.

A small group of wizards could be seen on the far side and seemed to be talking to the cube.

The head, a green wizard with leaves and a pointy green hat stood at the front of the group, holding another artifact of some description. "We bring you, Bella Noche, the lost cough syrup of the east. Now, we can get in on that fine, secret magic the tightest of magic... so right and tight.. I get restless leg syndrome just thinking about it... Woah there it goes again..."

With that the group all seemed to look at his left leg which was, indeed, twitching about spasmodically. Before he could finish the ceremony, a fourth figure, this time in blue stood from behind the others, wearing a gold crown with three red gems in the front. "Hey guys! What're you up to? Mind if I get in on some of that sweet secret magic?"

"Get lost ice king- you know you aren't welcome here." A red wizard said, although he had elements of red and blue in his colour scheme, he seemed to power up some magical aura around his hands as he spoke to the ice king, making his points ever clearer to the two observers but it seemed to serve no function to the king of ice, who took the entire threat as more of a simple suggestion with no obligation.

"Oh come on guys... You know me, just trying to get my magic up a level.. you know!"

"ENOUGH!" the gravelly swamp paper voice said, before a large tentacle of energy seemed to grab the cough medicine before setting it in the middle of the circle. The voice seemed to laugh psychotically, simply calling the wizards fools and then four tentacles of energy seemed to strike the four wizards, sapping them, the original three wizards just fell to the floor, and began to crawl away, the fourth wizard seemed to grow younger, his massive white beard shrunk back into his face, he grew younger until he seemed to be of about 25 years old.

With olive brown skin and very dark brown hair that was swept to the sides. He brought himself up, Marceline was amazed, her mouth agape. Marceline had frozen in place and was not responding to anything, she had even frozen her floating, as opposed to the up-and-down motion she used to have, she was still... "Tell me this is really happening..." Marceline said, still frozen but now she was moving her mouth and bobbing again.

"Yeah.. I think I am not hallucinating... So who is that then? He must be important if you are freaking out like this..."

"I am not freaking out... You don't know who that is but I do.. That is Simon..."

"Simon? Like the guy that went slowly insane over a 1000 year period and now is back to humanity? That is something I guess... So what do we do? Do we grab him and guide him to a place or whatever? I am kinda lost here, no idea what I am doing... "

"He is our key to betty..."

"Right.. so we don't kill him?"

"Absolutely..."

"Absolutely we do or absolutely we don't?"

"We need to get him to a safe place."

"Right and where is a safe place exactly?"

"Right now? The Ice kingdom... Just go and get him up here..."

"Right, hold this..." Dave said handing Marceline his shotgun, he ran down the pathway until he reached the now massive black cube, it was expanding.. _Gotta be quick with this... I don't want to get lost in a city that has a no-humans policy and I imagine Simon wouldn't like to be here either..._

Simon looked up, to see Dave, the first face he had seen since regaining his sanity.

He could not hear Dave talking but he could feel Dave pick him up, sling him over his shoulder and carry him back around to Marceline. Running, Dave could tell Simon was getting back his senses, he was stirring, moving and becoming more and more active until he tried to break free from Dave's hold.

Dave managed to set him down just past the walkway. Simon was very confused as to what he was doing with him. "Who the heck are you and what are you doing with me?"

"I am Dave and if you don't mind, we only have a few minutes before this whole cave comes down..."

Marceline was walking up behind Simon and just as Simon turned around, he saw her..

"Marceline?"

"Simon?"

"You're all grown up... How long have I been out?"

"About 1000 years.."

Simon grabbed his hair in his hands, "1000 YEARS?!"

"Don't worry... everything is okay, Dave here can help us... But he needs out help first... He needs Betty..."

Simon was silent. "And how can he help us? What does he need Betty for?"

"He needs her to help save my friends, our friends."

"Say no more... I need Betty just as much..."

Simon took to the outside before the other wizards could recover and get up, teh king wizard showing his head around the corner- "Woah, that looks bad... Uhh.. Throw your boots at it or something.. I don't know.."

As the group climbed out of the cave, they found themselves in the square again, Ash was about to leave, having finished with watching the carnage, before noticing Marceline and a few strangers- "Yo, Marbs, what are you doin'? Still playing with kids?"

Marceline was about to unload the last few years worth of pain onto him when Dave interrupted her. "Okay listen up you ugly fuck. How long have you known Marceline? How well do you know her? If you have lived as much as I have in the last six days compared to your whole life, then I will be amazed because she deserves better... It is the scum of the earth like yourself that make things as they are... It is you, the little heckling cretin that makes life painful and makes the best people break down... If you dare to as much as glance your eyes towards her with the slightest slither of a bad thought, I will destroy you and everything you love in no particular order. Got it?"

Having just witnessed such a long winded threat, that ultimately made Dave look like an overprotective psycho that would spare no expense to make his own life as miserable as was possible.

"Just so we're clear. You have about 10 seconds to leave my sight or I will make you wish for death... And I will not stop there, I will go to your dead-world and beat you into the next one with the libs of your own mother. And I won't just let you die, I will stretch it out for as long as is possible... Understood?"

Everyone was silent, Ash simply ran, he forgot his flying carpet because he felt his legs trying to move faster than he knew he could run, simply sprinting away, occasionally stumbling.

"Just a little point I want to make VERY clear to everyone... Don't fuck with me and what I love... Because I will destroy you if you do..." The two old friends simply nodded, Marceline was slightly disgruntled at what she heard, that she had been carrying a person like this around and guiding him, he had the means to kill. "You wouldn't actually do that would you?"

"I don't know.. Would I? None have overstepped after that point before... I don't know my own boundaries..."

In silence the group boarded the flying carpet, Marceline simply flying alongside the two others. Arriving at the kingdom of ice, they prepared to work with Simon. Dave spoke first, his tone seemed to have calmed down, "So, what do we need to save a life then?"

"Hmm?" Simon said, obviously forgetting.

"How do we get to Betty?"

"Oh Right.. Of course, how could I forget?! Marceline, go and find Hambo, we need him, Dave follow me."

Marceline set off out of the window-hole and Dave followed Simon into the ice mountain until they appeared in a secret library-study, hidden behind a large piece of furniture.

"Quite the place you've got here..."

 **[AN]**

 **Well... Looks like something decided to show up again from oblivion!**

 **The document appears to have recovered itself (somehow, no idea how) but either way, this is around the halfway point if I continue with this current style of writing and the end is coming, the only reason I am uploading this is not because of an overwhelming sense of unfulfillment that comes with not finishing this, nor the response of the readers that want it finished... I just found it... *Shrugs***

 **Either way, plan was already written, You can probably guess what happens concerning Betty but there are more Fallout things yet to come if this does carry on... all part of the plot of course... The Fireball from FP is a reference to my other newer fic called "Dimensions, motorbikes and Cricket bats"- you will know why things randomly appear if you read it or you can just continue, they are just references, nothing key to the storey... I kinda wanted to cross them both over but we shall see...**

 **Anyone gonna comment or is this pointless me writing author's notes?!**


	10. Chapter 10: Boom

Dave was in a rhythm now- peddling on a small bicycle to generate energy for a strange cauldron of some description, emanating light as it swirled and bubbled in response to Simon's avid hand movements above it. Like an air orchestra, Dave tried to find a rhythm Simon was using but found nothing.

"So… How long do you think Marcy will be?"

Dave spoke moments before Marceline entered the room with the small doll that was Hambo- a treasure from her childhood, it was present throughout her entire life after the bombs fell, her only friend to never turn its back to her when she needed it most.

"I'm sorry Marcy but I need to tell Betty I'm sorry to her face. I know you'll understand."

"Of course, Simon-"

"So, is there any chance of hurrying this up now? My legs are getting kinda tired, you know, cycling constantly to keep the reaction from failing and ruining the one stock of ingredients you decided to keep. But you know, if you want to just keep up the tenderness of this moment, you go right ahead."

Said Dave, panting between breaths and struggling to keep a steady pace, his legs screaming to him on the inside as the resistance keeps growing from the cauldron.

Marceline retorted to him, "Oh you don't mind? Thanks Dave, we'll take this opportunity you have been so generous to give us."

Dave simply smiled in submission, he knew it was either going to get no response or would have an adverse effect on him and his wanting of not peddling away his evening.

 _It's not worth wasting time retorting if I can spend it breathing instead! Ha ha… That wasn't all that funny but I don't care, when you are this oxygen starved, it doesn't matter anymore…_

Dave was on the verge of passing out when Simon finally put the doll in the soup and he was told not to worry about continuing with the peddling, he could finally get off the wretched bike.

With gusto and a slight drunkenness about him, he stumbled off of the bike and crawled to the others, his gear still weighing down on him.

 _Why, oh why did I keep the gear on?! I need to take a serious look at myself before I try anything extraneous again… A very good look at myself…_

The corners of his eyes began to darken and every bone in his body seemed to weigh more with every second. But he did not want to miss this- He needed to not miss this. The bear began to float out of the cauldron and glowed a white/gold light.

In Dave's mind, he could vaguely hear the Cosmic Owl speaking to him in his mind. _Heyyy… How's it going...? Oh wait, this bits kinda important… I'll just leave, see ya soon man... and good luck!_

 _I thought he wasn't supposed to show up until I was done with my mission… He said so himself didn't he? I don't care anymore…_

Voices began to bounce around the room. Dave couldn't understand what they were saying but only that they were probably important to saving his friends. Try as he would, his vision would not clear, the sounds would not make sense and he could not move.

When he regained his ability to see and could just about see a new character in the room, presumably Betty Grof. He could not hear anything as of yet and so, he had no idea what exchange was going on between the people before him, as Simon fell to the ground, seemed to speak a few meaningful words and Betty held him. She moved towards a magic carpet and at this point Dave managed to spit out a couple of words.

"Please, take me with you Betty."

"I can't know, I have to save Simon but I will come back from you when I can."

This wasn't going to be enough, how could she save Simon if she had no idea what was outside of the door, yet alone over the mountains, hills and through the valleys that lay beyond the horizon? She would need someone with some sense of direction back to wizard city. Dave was that someone.

Marceline tried to warn her of the impending doom of Bella Noche that would have grown to city wide devastation by this point. Dave had a plan.

"Just drop me off at the edge of the swamp on the way to wizard city and we'll be ready to completely destroy Bella Noche. Just give me 2 minutes to get something and to get to wizard city and there will be nothing but ash left."

"That sounds like a good result, let's do it but be quick."

Marceline was stood at the edge of the conversation, looking in and wondering why no one was suggesting her for the assassination of the ancient wizard, but simply let the two humans go with their idea of a plan.

Within 4 minutes, they were both on the magic carpet, Simon attached to it, trying to convince Betty to let him die but not working one bit on either other human.

By the time they reached the swamp, Dave simply jumped off of the carpet and reached deep into the swamp goo. "Come on, I saw you here on the way to the ice kingdom and you just up and disappear on me when I need you most?!"

Just as Dave began to give up, he found what he was looking for. A slightly rusted, though loaded Type 42 light ordinance catapult- or to the common man, the Fat Man. "Yes! We're going to have some fun today…"

Simon had tried to drown himself in the swamp while Dave searched but Betty wouldn't have it, she kept a vice-like grip on him as he weakly squirmed. She tried time and time again to explain her plan of rescuing her love but he didn't want it now. He just wanted to die. Dave checked the basic functionality of the weapon before taking it in, it worked well enough for one firing at least.

Within a few minutes, they were within visual range of the wizard city, as they approached closer to the black mound that formed over the city, growing in size with every bolt of energy that hit it. Dave knew this would either mean a quick victory, or a very quick defeat.

As he readied his old weapon, he almost turned the safety off before a bolt struck the now stationary carpet, sending it spiralling towards the ground with the passengers flailing in the air.

They landed after a few hundred feet of freefalling only to find themselves in perfect health. The wizards had set up various healing auras for the battle and they were lucky enough to land in one of them. It would be enough to stop Simon from killing himself but not enough to stop him from aging into death.

Dave readied himself, he had no way of testing the trajectory, he had only one shot, if the spring loaded mechanism was rustier than he thought or if it was uneven after 1000 years of swamp water corrosion, it would misfire, either killing them all were the stood, fire correctly and hit the tower or just miss entirely and destroy a whole city district.

Dave simply pointed at the mass and began a little countdown, sounding less afraid and more psychotic with each number closer to firing. "5, 4, 3, 2, 1!" It was at this point that the entire wizard army stopped firing and looked back to the manically giggling human with a big slingshot over his shoulder. "FIRING THE DOG'S BOLLOCK, MOTHER FUCKERS!"

A moment of silence filled the air and an atmosphere of peace overcame them before a soothing whistling wired over-head. The attention of all the wizards looked toward the small projectile that flew steadily towards the black tower. It became invisible a moment before impact and a barely audible 'ding' sound could be heard. Then a bright flashing light filled the valley.

The manic laughter of the human that fired it was barely audible over the blast sound, largely directed out, into the atmosphere. An epic mushroom cloud raised into the heavens and a dark could of black rain fell shortly after.

The people of wizard city didn't know what to think of this. They had one the battle but had lost their city, a dark radiation had rendered their homes uninhabitable for the best part of another 1000 years and while many of them would likely live longer than that, they had still lost their homes, their wellbeing.

Before long the human that fired the weapon was done manically laughing and the man formerly known as Simon was replacing the atmosphere with equally maniacal and, somehow more annoying laughter. He received a stern look from the king wizard before he stopped and the healer wizards turned to fixing the city. The radiation left over from the surprisingly high yield explosion would take years to truly clear out and for the time being, they would have to avoid spending any amount of time longer than a few minutes in the ruins of the city before it would start to eat at their bodies and minds.

They were at a win and a loss and the fallout was to follow. The carpet sprang to life again and picked up Dave, still gigging childishly at his mass destruction, while Betty was still shocked to have witnessed such destruction in such a short time. She had known this new world for only a few minutes and had already known a person that gets giddy over the idea of nuclear annihilation… And he was flying.

She knew she owed him for saving Simon, even if he was now a wild old man, frantically taking his clothes off.

 **Author's Note-**

 **If found another chapter lying around… No idea when I wrote this but it all felt familiar, I could swear I had already written it and uploaded it but it had a few errors and bits I didn't like so it was, ultimately a good thing to hold it back and read it over again.**

 **It feels almost good to be back… Almost… Considering all I have done in this time is read a few fics and edit this thing (only the last half, I need a place-setter if I am to finish this storey…)**

 **I now have the finale all planned out and so it is just a matter or writing it up- which should be a tiring pain for the summer, when my final exam has passed and I don't need to panic over hospital placements or Uni stuff, I can knuckle down to this…**


End file.
